Anxious about coming out/family finding out

I'm a 19 year old girl in a relationship with another woman. I've known since I was 12 that I was bisexual or a lesbian, and for the 1-2 years I was questioning I had anxiety about it. But after a while I accepted myself and thought that it was okay and I don't even need to come out to my family until it's completely necessary.

But now a few years have passed and I am, as I said before, in my first relationship and it's with another woman. We've been together for about a year and our families don't know about us yet, but I don't think we can hide it for much longer until they figure it out on their own. The distance between my girlfriend and I is pretty big, and traveling that far that often to meet someone isn't something you do for someone who's just a friend.

This has been causing me anxiety lately. I think it started 3 months ago when my sister found out that I liked girls and was in love with my girlfriend (my sister thinks we're just friends though), and since then I've been feeling uncomfortable because it feels like she's uncomfortable with it. She's not super homophobic or anything like that, but I know that she would prefer if I was straight. I know that if I said I was in love with a boy she would have been super curious and asked questions like "what's he like?", "what does he look like?", "what does he do?" etc. But she hasn't said a single thing about the girl I'm in love with, not a single question. She even said that "we should go out together some day so you can meet hot boys". I think she was joking and being serious at the same time.

I'm terrified about the rest of my family (my parents and relatives) finding out. I've heard some family members and relative say some homophobic stuff. The ones that haven't been directly homophobic still talk about gay people like they're aliens. What makes my anxiety even worse is that my parents don't really like my girlfriend, they judge her because she has some mental health issues and I've been noticeably worried about her sometimes. I really regret telling them about it, but sometimes they've noticed that I was feeling down or worried and basically forced me to explain what was going on. So now every time I'm sad no matter the real reason, they ASSUME I'm sad because of my (girl)friend. My mom even said a comment in front of everyone at the dinner table about how I shouldn't travel to see my (girl)friend, that I should stop talking to her and stay away from my her etc. I'm so anxious about this combination of "we don't want our daughter to be a lesbian" and "we don't like our daughters (girl)friend". I can barely mention her without my parents giving me a weird look.

I don't think they're homophobic to the point where they'd kick me out or never talk to me again. I worry more about how they see and treat me. I want things to be normal. I want to be able to wake up, see my family, have dinner normally, joke around, celebrate things with them etc. I don't want my family to look at me in disgust or be ashamed of me. I'm already imaging my mom crying over this. I want things to be like they've always been in our family. I don't want to fight about my girlfriend just because she is a girl instead of a guy. I can only guess the things they would say about her, like that she has manipulated me into liking girls since she's a few years older or something like that (jokes on them, I knew I liked girls 6 years before even meeting her).

I accept myself for liking girls because I know that there's nothing wrong with it. I know that it doesn't make me disgusting or worse than other people. But at the same time because of how my family would react to me liking girls/having a girlfriend, I can't help but feeling ashamed and like I'm disgusting and needs to hide it. I can barely say the words "my girlfriend" or "bisexual/lesbian" in front of my friends who aren't homophobic at all, because I have this idea deep in my head that other people will judge me and think I'm disgusting.

I've been free from this sexuality-related anxiety for like 5 years now. But it's back because I know that my parents most likely will find out soon. I'm not handling it well, I hate feeling like they'll think I'm disgusting and be ashamed of me. I'm afraid my "normal life" will end and everything will change. I hate thinking about how I probably won't be able to bring my girlfriend to relative gatherings like all straight people in my family have done. I hate how my girlfriend most likely won't be welcomed as a part of our family like my girlfriend's boyfriend is. I just want my family to treat me like I'm normal, and to treat our relationship like it's normal. I don't want to be disgusting or "a shame for this family". I want to be able to mention my girlfriend without feeling ashamed. How can I deal with this anxiety and insecurity that I'm feeling??