So, yesterday I was scratching my arm really hard on purpose, and now it looks like I cut myself badly. I didn't know that that was going to happen, and now I'm worried that people are going to think I am self harming. That was kinda the point, but at the time, I hated myself so much. I'm still not so happy with myself because my hair is too long, my chest feels too big, and my voice is too high. I'm worried that I'm going to go down the road of cutting myself. Any suggestions on how to stop cutting before it gets really bad?
I am fairly new here and am in my own personal hell of accepting myself, that said I ran a hotline in the passed and saved several lives on and off line. I am only 18 and while I don't know that much about the LGBTQ community I know a lot about suicide and depression. I don't know anything about being trans but I can try to help you with the cutting. People I have talked to in the past said that they felt creating something helped them stop cutting. A girl I knew cut herself a lot and with a kitchen knife, I cut once ever in my life and felt really ashamed. No one I know knows that about me, I just saw all the damage that it would do to others. While I don't know your story I bet that there are people in your orbit who care very dearly about you, and at the very least I care about you. Cutting is a fickle thing, it makes you feel something when everything else feels numb, try to find something you like to do, or find something new to do. Art is a good release, writing helps me. I also recommend doing workouts but a lot of people I talked to are turned off by that. Find a way to express yourself because bottling it up just poisons the mind, I should know. Also without giving up my location I know that the tri-state area is full of mean people. I am hoping to get out after this year and go to college. Just know that there are nicer people and better places, where you live is tough, we have that in common. I hope that this helped you and if you ever need to talk I am here for you, as well as the nice people who run this place. Best of luck and I wish you a long happy healthy life, friend.
Thank you so much! That's so cool that you ran a hotline. I hope I can stop, because I now have 4 scratches on my arm, and one near my thumb.
Yeah running the hotline taught me a lot and made me really humble. I also used what I learned to help my friends in real life. I pray that you can stop, I hope you can see that there is only harm that can come of it. Sorry if what I said doesn't make any sense I just got my tonsils out and I am on a lot of medicine. But please do not cut, I wish you the best friend.
You can also do something about the things you say you hate. If your chest feels too big, there are surgical options, or you can work with breast binders. Cutting your hair is cheap. And as for your voice, there are supplements to make it deeper, or hormone therapy which can change your voice pitch. For that matter, voice training can let you reach a deeper pitch. You know your situation, and there is never just one person in a given situation. Take those emotions and channel them into something positive, like Rorschach said. Maybe while looking for these resources for yourself, you can compile them, and make them available to others like yourself?
Well, I am still in the closet, so I cannot get surgery or supplements yet. However, in 4 months, I will be able to buy a binder. As for cutting my hair, I'm not sure what I want it to look like. (I have very curly hair.) Well, thanks for the suggestions!
I hope you can stop, cut your hair not yourself friend. Best of luck with tansitioning I don't know anything about that but I think you will do great
Oh don't worry people cut themselves on accident all the time and frankly since it sounds like you are basically a man in woman's body your life is probably pretty hard so depression is normal?
