Ok here goes. All of my first kissing etc experiences have been with women. Then along came a friendship with a guy who was older than me. We were both in multiple choirs. I decided to stay at his place overnight. Well he performed oral sex on my in my "sleep" eventhough I was secretly awake. It felt really good and I thought nothing of it - just another due helping me masturbate. We did this many times. He befriended my family and he seemed to get a little too close. So I told him to get lost. Life continued and I dated other women and got married and had 2 boys. I've been married for 20yrs now and my boys are grown. The marriage was invaded by my motherinlaw who the wife listened to more than me for advice etc. I felt empty but didn't want to leave and start another relationship because I'd probably leave. So, I met dudes online for oral sex. It got to the point where I had a hard time finding dudes so I crossdressed to meet online dudes. It worked and I was seeing alot of dudes in my hotel room while I travelled. It gave me a natural high. The wife found out and now we're divorcing. I stopped cold turkey. I've been dating another woman for over a year now and it's been great. Unfortunately, she's in another city and when I'm away I just want to do the hookups again as a crossdresser. When I'm with her, it all just goes away. I still live with my wife eventho it's hard and we don't hardly talk. I want to move out and rent for awhile and experiment with the crossdressing. I think I have transvestic fetishm where I only cross dress for the purposes of sex (oral only for now). I also enjoy being submissive. I never thought of myself as gay or whatever because I could never picture myself living with a man and being in a relationship. I'm thinking of living separately and renting for a while and experimenting with crossdressing first for sexual purposes and then maybe getting into a relationship with a man (although not sure I want that). What the hell is going on?
I honestly can't say what is going on, as it's all somewhat beyond me. However, I think you owe it to your wife and girlfriend to be honest with them, and you should be honest with yourself. It seems to me that you are some type of bisexual, and have a transvestite fetish - which is fine, but those in relationships with you deserve to know and make their own choices about it. I also encourage you to be safe sexually and physically, though I assume you are. I hope you find what it is you need - preferably an honest, open, bisexual fetish relationship
Welcome to EC Gurlyman99. I don’t think the question of what label fits would be the most important right now. More important is that you are learning what you like, or want to explore, and being comfortable with that. When you know what you like you can be honest with the people around you - your ex wife, your new girlfriend, etc.
