Hi there, Well, I’m brand new here and never done anything like this. I’m a crossdresser, and I love it. It’s a dimension of my sexuality; a fetish. But, it’s not all I like. I have kept it hidden and guarded since it started when I’d take my sisters panties. As I grew up, it quieted down. Still jacking off with girlfriend’s panties, but that became occasional. Mid twenties, it started coming back and I wanted to wear more. Fast forward to today, I’m married, she knows and absolutely hates it. So, it is pushed away into a box of sneaking around and sometimes putting one or two things on, jacking off and hiding everything. And the question: “why didn’t you tell me this before we got married?” She knew I jacked off with her panties. And also, I really didn’t know it was headed here. I can say that honestly. I think it’s like a career: one has an interest in medicine, and likes this specific area and then ends up somewhere and wonders “huh, in hindsight it makes sense, but I didn’t really see all of this headed my way.” I’d love to be able to dress fully sometimes with a woman. I tend to be sub and I love slutty style and a powerful woman. Not excessively powerful, but strong. I love femme: how it looks, how it feels. I have always been drawn to femininity and always prefer groups of women. I have plenty of guy friends, but I do better with women. I also realize, because I’m closeted and hidden, I still need a lot of validation with this. And that is tied up in its erotic nature. It’s not only kinky on its own, but it’s incredible to chat with a woman who is ok with it. Which I do sometimes as is of course a source of shame. This also compels the cycle. Well, that’s me. I’m a good guy I think and employed and decent. But, I’m a crossdresser and I like it, but I’m pretty isolated with it. I’m not a victim though. Just giving a profile. Thanks, Amber
Well welcome. I too am a cross dresser, though not fully TG or anything , and any sexual pleasure I derive requires the company of men. I was in a mixed orientation marriage with a wife who went back and forth on acceptance, but I don’t know if the cross dressing was the issue, or the fact that neither of us wanted to face the fact that I was homosexual. I would recommend you speak to a therapist. You should examine whether this is a sexual fetish, or a greater gender identity issue. IMO there’s nothing wrong if it’s a fetish, but you and your wife need to get a handle on it. It could be disastrous to be in the closest, and lead you to engage in behaviors that are detrimental. Also, check your local LGBTQ+ organizations, see if there’s a Gender Non Conforming support group.
Hi @Amberjaque - That line resonates strongly, as do other parts of your post. I've faced a lot of resentment and anger from my wife for not being more forthcoming, even though I did tell her right after we were married that I do feel sexual attractions toward men. After that, I focused my attention and effort toward our family life, because that was what was most important to me. Now that I am being very forthcoming, I had hoped for understanding from my wife. Instead, she seems to be stuck in an anger phase. Does any of this resonate with you?
