Well it finally happened last night. I was at a local gay bar having a good time dancing and making out with a guy I had met. I get a tap on my shoulder and it is a woman from work. I ask her what she is doing here and she proceeds to tell me that she is a closeted lesbian. She also says that she thought I was gay but didn't have the nerve to ask me. Well now she obviously knows and I am hopeful she will keep my secret. But it is nice to know that I have a coworker that knows I am gay and hopefully we can now help each other come out! Should be an interesting morning at work on Monday. May be the day I have to admit that I am GAY!
Hey that is a nice story. I know it can be unnerving when someone finds out but if she is a closeted lesbian, I would say its highly likely your secret is safe with her
It's probably both relieving and terrifying. I think most folks in the process of coming out have that sort of experience. Being happy to have someone who knows but hoping that person won't betray the trust. And if she picked up on it... there are likely others who have as well, so it may be less of a 'big reveal' than you thought it would be. I know some folks who make a big deal of coming out only to get a response of "Oh, yeah, we figured that out years ago..."
I think the best way to "come out" is just how you did it here. You weren't making an announcement, but just enjoing your life and someone saw you with another man. So if I were you I would just act like it wasn't unusual or "shocking" if she tells other people at work. Nothing to apologize for, nothing to explain. "Yea, it was cool to see her!" "So you're gay?" "That's pretty personal and I'm really here to focus to focus on work-related stuff ... so how's your day going?"
I would guess that a closeted lesbian would keep your secret however if she doesn’t you will be faced with being open about being gay. If that happens just roll with it. You need make no excuses nor explanations other than being frank about being gay. I assure you the earth continues to spin on it axis and society will not crumble. lol. It just might finally give you the chance to live openly as a total gay man.
She has kept my secret so far. We ended up talking the next day and it was really nice. It does feel good to know that someone at work knows I am gay also. We talked about where we were at in the coming out process and determined that we are both ready to take the leap. It looks like we both will be telling our other associates that we are both gay next week. Wish us luck!
Best of luck to you both. The liberation you will feel is truly awesome. So proud of you taking this important step in your gay evolution.