Does anyone get jealous of straight women??

Are you serious? The “she is not even as attractive” comment was unnecessary and rude (which seems your specialty) but to answer your post you are completely unreasonable. A) because there is no proof that, were you a straight woman, you could have a man like this. B) you have no idea how this man is in the intimacy of his own home, for all we know he might be cheating on his wife, be abusive or manipulative (and looks won’t tell you that.) C) women go through a shit tone of things men (even gay men) don’t have to go through, being jealous of straight women because some end up with a pretty man is ridiculous at best and totally dismisses any other hardship they have to face. D) why isn’t it fair? Why do you feel more deserving than the next person to meet someone like that, when you seem to be fully hung up on looks and possessions rather than actual values and connections (and don’t say you are when you have mentioned mostly looks and possessions all while making a dig at the look of their spouse in your post) STOP feeling entitled to getting a hot nice boyfriend when you can’t even seem to be nice about others yourself. Work on yourself and who knows maybe you will start attracting the people you are into.

 

And I have answered your post as to why it would be unreasonable to feel jealous of random straight women. I don’t think you know what cyber bullying is if you think me giving you my opinion ON THE TOPIC OF YOUR THREAD is cyber bullying.

also I am not following you, it’s a public forum, I am made aware of all new threads the same way you are.

 

@r2debaca

I won't jump into the whole "attractiveness" gaging thing. But, I think it is not all that uncommon for someone to look at a happy couple and say "I deserve that". Then, it is an easy step to think you might be more deserving than the person who has it. I think this is one of the "human nature" things that many of us work to eliminate from our thought processes.

I'm wondering if you still have a problem with accepting your sexuality? I get being attracted to "straight acting" men. I feel the same way. But, I also recognize that I also have struggled with not wanting to be identified with more "gay acting" men. (I've gone down this path on EC before and was chastised from my wording so I want to be really careful here). I understand this in a symptom of the shame I still have not eliminated from my life.

My solution is that I immerse myself, occasionally, with as "gay acting" group of people I can find. I'm learning to accept that I can be with other gay men and not feel I am being defined by them. I am still myself and I like guys and they like guys and it is all cool.

 

So the equivalent of that for me would be straight guys. I get jealous of awesome lesbians who are not closeted and are not stuck in a heterosexual marriage.

 

And to be clear, my choice of words is just based on the thread... wouldn't use "jealous" otherwise. I wish I had realized my sexuality earlier, but I am working in getting to where I want to be.

 

I think there's an extent to which the grass is always going to be greener. I actually don't here the whole jealous of straight women thing very often. What I do here is straight women complaining that all the good ones are either married or gay. One of my friends complains that even that doesn't cover it any more, now all the good ones are married and gay. LOL

 

I think it's envy not jealousy that is the proper word. I just googled the difference between envy and jealousy though, so what do I know.
Your "scrap from the gay barrel" comment makes me think you have some self-hating for your own community. I don't know what kind of guys are your type, but if it's "nice, friendly, monogamous, masculine, well dressed with a job car and no drug use" then there's plenty in the gay community. I just got back from a gay bar, and I didn't really talk to anyone since I'm shy, but there some there that would probably fit that description. Let's break down your type:
nice - there's nice gay guys and not so nice gay guys, just like everyone else.
friendly - same thing
monogamous - gay men are probably less so than straight men, sure, but most still are, and straight men are only more monogamous in name only since straight women are. Of course, this is changing, I know at least two straight women who are polygamous
masculine - I'm not sure, but it does seem that most gay guys are masculine identifying. It doesn't really matter who is and who isn't, but if that's your type, then there's plenty of masculine gay guys to go around.
Well dressed - um, I know I just dismissed the stereotype of all gay men being feminine, but gay men being well dressed is the stereotype.
With a job and car - well, gay men are less protected in employment. But, anyway, I don't have a job, so am I a loser to you? Jeez, enjoy being single mister high standards

 

I don't think that's necessarily true. Like sure, gay men face more discrimination than their straight counterpart but as a couple, usually gay men are way more successful in their career and earn more than even their straight colleagues. I think wealth and careers is actually the one thing gay men happen to be at the top of the chain for, above straight folks (lesbians being at the bottom of the chain).

It's because men already earn more to start with and gay men will rarely have to worry about things like paternity leave, working around a kid's schedule etc.. since gay men usually don't have children and if they do, they are more likely to pay for staff than take a long-term break in their career to stay home with the kids. Meaning they are more employable and more likely to be chosen for promotions and to go up the career ladder at a faster speed.

Therefore it wouldn't be uncommon for gay (male) couples to be pretty wealthy and in a high-earning position.

I don't think expecting someone to have a job and a car is a very high criteria (assuming one lives in a more rural town with no good public transportation), I wouldn't mind dating someone who was temporarily unemployed for good reasons and actively looking but I would be wary to get involved long-term with someone who doesn't work and have no interest in working. Not least because it creates imbalance of power and wealth and often mean one will have to subsidize the other, which makes me uncomfortable. That being said, not having a job doesn't make you a loser, but objectively, yes it could close a few doors (again it's very dependent on your age etc... my expectation of an 18yo high school or college student is different to someone in their late 20's for example) but then again it would only rule out people that aren't made for you anyway.

 

Do I get jealous of straight women? Sure.
But I also get jealous of pretty much everyone else too, regardless of sex and sexuality.

It's not because they are straight or female, and it's not every person I'm jealous of - its' simply that I desire what some people (male and female, straight and lgb) have got that I haven't got nor can ever have: an attractive, young physique; a happy and secure sense of self; and a romantic/sexual relationship with their externalised lover. Those things make me envious, regardless of their gender or whatever.

 

Not jealous of straight women in the least however very jealous of young hot hard bodied gay guys in Speedos or thongs at the beach. Wish I was one! lol

 

if you look at my posting history you will see that A) I am a woman of color B) I am the first to challenge anybody who says anything racist or untoward towards others (regardless of race, gender, religious beliefs or sexuality) C) I have had plenty of warnings based on me challenging others posters for saying racist or sexist crap.

I am not sure which post/comment/thread you are referring to as I may have missed it. But I have personally never willingly overlooked a racist comment. In fact I have been at constant war with EC often allowing racist posters and comment to thrive around here (pushing a lot of the black and queer community of color away from EC). I once heavily thought about leaving EC for the same reason myself as the daily bashing of POC and rape blaming on here (mostly in threads related to politics or things like the LGBT flags adding a few color to represent POC or topics such as cultural appropriation) became really tiring and the lack of actions from staff really telling of the fact that POC weren’t the most welcome here or at least we were welcome as long as we accepted questionable comments would be tolerated. And while I am sure staff will challenge me on that, I know what my experience has been on here as a queer POC and that’s why I like to think that your comment isn’t actually targeted as me, as it would mean you are making assumptions as to who I am and what I stand for without actually having had a look at my history.


I am not on EC all the time so can miss post, threads, comments but I can assure you that there is never anything personal in my comments, hence why I can put you up on stuff you say that are wrong and uncalled for while defending you on things you are right about. Had I seen someone use any racist or derogatory term I would have 100% reacted as fiercely as I do for all the causes I believe in and as fiercely as I did when you used derogatory terms to refer to others. I don’t make no difference in my defense of others.

 

Hey. I think we've had this conversation before and it ended up in the same place. Am I not remembering this correctly?

I think it is important to point out that you were subject to a rare situation on this board. At least in my experience. But, as I have pointed out before, I am a white guy. So, sometimes, racist and misogynistic comments go right by me. I know I should be more sensitive and I have been since the last time we chatted here. I will respond the same way. That this forum is a place where we should all feel safe and judgment should be kept to a minimum. That is not always possible as we all have our own issues that we feel strongly about.

On that note...I am sure I will get heat for this. But, you have made some rather disparaging comments about other gay men. Yet, you cry foul when this board does not jump to your defense. This feels like a set up...at least to me. That said, I believe your voice is important as a gay man of color on this forum and I hope you find a way to contribute in a way that doesn't feel more like a challenge.

Anyway...best to you.