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Came out to myself & feel proud

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by ashton234, Nov 26, 2019.

  1. ashton234

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    I had posted before that i think I had finally admitted something I had known for a long time. That I am in fact gay.

    For anybody interested I kinda describe it here: https://forum.emptyclosets.com/inde...-something-i-may-have-known-for-years.481152/

    I actually feel so happy and proud of myself for accepting this to myself I had to start a new thread here if not just to boast about how good I feel right now. Although I know I will probably go back in the closet and denial again at some point i am just happy for now!

    Today when I went to the gym I tried to look at guys on my way to and from, while in the changing rooms etc to see if having accepted being gay would have somehow changed the way I look at guys on the street, as opposed to in my head or in porn but it didn't seem to have done so.

    I'm not sure maybe I expected some huge unrealistic difference but I'm curious how other guys or girls approached 'real life' in the times around accepting their own sexual orientation. Did you actively try to test the waters or seek out somebody or just go about your business with a different attitude or what?

    It's weird because now I'm at a point where I accept it in my head, I kinda thought I would accept it as I'm walking down the street. Like now i think back I did see a guy which now I think was hot but at the time didn't. It seems to just still be in my head if that makes any sense.
     
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  2. Contented

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    First and foremost congrats on such a significant step. It took me many more years than you to finally have the courage to say I am gay.
    Going back into the closet will solve nothing and in the long run cause you pain and heartbreak. As it is not fair to any woman you would enter a relationship with. I can tell you once you admit to yourself your gay, a woman will never again be able to satisfy not only your sexual needs but your emotional ones as well.
    Don’t be too concerned with not finding every guy you see like you want to jump his bones. Attraction of any kind doesn’t work that way. Take your time, start to date some guys and see what it’s really like to be in a same sex relationship. I assure you it is not like in gay porn. It takes time establish what you like and dislike about gay sexuality. It is not one size fits all by any means.
    As you become more comfortable as a gay man things will clarify themselves for you.
    You are on the door step of an incredible journey of discovery. Enjoy the ride.
     
  3. ashton234

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    First of all thank you for your message.

    Yeah was a significant step and felt good but have had to recently run back into the closet just because I can't reconcile the person I am in daily life with what I sometimes feel when I really think about it. Can't reconcile that person with my lad mates etc and the person I am to other people at this point. I don't really mind just being my old self to other people, but knowing who I am myself for the time being. Still feels kinda good to accept me - myself.

    I wouldn't subject any woman to a false relationship anyway so no worries there.

    But in terms of being more comfortable I guess made some progress there. In the past after masturbated or done something with a guy for example I would feel like shit and disgusted and hate myself, but that I a lot lot less recently so thats a big change itself I think.

    Anyway just sharing my journey incase anybody else can relate and I guess anyone reading this don't worry about going in and out of the closet because you just have to do what works for you when it works for you!
     
  4. Jakebusman

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    Congrats on that is a huge step I had came out this past New Years Eve as Bisexual nothing changed for me accept I'm proud
     
  5. cjmiller

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    Congrats on coming out to yourself. I came out to myself only this past Jan and right now feel like I'm living in limbo. I know I'm gay but still married and scared to talk to my wife. Good luck on your journey.
     
  6. Dollop

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    well done onwards and upwards for here hopfully
     
  7. eron

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    Coming out to yourself is just one step along the journey. Having taken that step not too long ago, I found it both liberating and calming. My thought: you need to be authentic, and at peace, with yourself before anything else.
     
  8. Asri

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    hey i saw your thing and im generally happy for u. So hello i wanna say my sexual orientation. Im pansexual meaning im attracted to people regardless of gender or sexuality. And im proud of coming out and im proud of u!
     
  9. Chip

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    Coming out is a process, and rarely a quick one. Accepting this within yourself is an enormous first step. For most people, there's some time (sometimes days, sometimes months) before the next step of coming out to those around us happens. And that's one of the reasons places like EC exist. Being able to talk about what one is feeling here, in a safe and pretty anonymous environment helps with self-acceptance and gives us the courage to be able to share our story with others.

    Congrats on the first step. Don't feel like there's any enormous rush to come out to those around you. Let that happen as it feels right to do so.
     
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