Another long post about bottoming

Thanks for replying. When I read the part I quoted above, it seems clear to me that the place to start is confronting your notions of what is feminine and what is masculine. Your bottoming fantasies are not feminine. That's the crux of the real problem right there. Being penetrated does not equate to femininity, although I know you have been taught that it does. If you really want to resolve this issue, I think you need to challenge yourself to really examine your thought process that defines this sexual role as feminine, and work to change that thought process.

Except that you are defining femininity in general. You ascribe your "feminine" desire to be penetrated as weak and submissive. That's because you view femininity as weak and submissive in general - and therefore it colors your view of what femininity is, and therefore your view of bottoming as a submissive act. You can't really separate one from the other. Maybe you should read more about power bottoms. It might give you a different perspective on bottoming.

 

That’s what I truly love about this forum - nobody has to suffer in silence. And there is ALWAYS someone out there who has similar experiences or feelings and are great resources or at minimum, help isn’t feel validated with our feelings, etc.

✌

 

Hi! This specific sentence really popped out when I read the post, as if somebody used a highlighter on a page of a book. Completely 100% agree with this and want to point out a key word/phrase that the writer did not even mention - and rightly so. Did you notice that there is no mention of “masculine” or “masculinity” anywhere?

I am what I consider a total bottom, yes I have tried tipping in the past and came to the realization that it was not something I really enjoyed. Whereas bottoming and having a man penetrate me, is the most intimate and giving way to me with a man, in my opinion anyway. It is something that feels incredible and satisfies some desire or need deep inside of me (no pun intended) that can be satiated in any other way. That said, nothing about it makes me feel ashamed or “less of a man” or anything like that. I do not generally choose to use these labels, but for the sake of this conversation/thread I’ll forego that for the moment: I’m definitely not considered feminine, nor would I say that I’m a submissive, and understand that most folks would call me masculine, etc. When I decide to be with a man and we do engage in anal penetration I feel satisfied and true to myself and do not feel shame for doing something I enjoy to that extent. It also often adds to my overall self respect and confidence - it does not make me feel feminine or that I’ve somehow been degraded and disrespected. Quite the opposite. Plus knowing how much my sex partner enjoyed himself, I feel rather proud of myself and that I can make him feel so good.
You have to be able to live your true self, allow yourself to focus on the positive feelings (physical and emotional) and experience the fun you have been denying yourself for so long. Giving yourself to a man in that way does take a level of acceptance of who we truly are and to understanding that it is ok to allow yourself to enjoy it. That’s my take anyway. ✌

 

Have you tried hypnotherapy? If not, do some research on it. It’s not like what you see in the media. Hypnotherapy simply puts you in a very relaxed state of mind where your able to really connect with your emotions and subconscious.

 

Man, this amount of shame is brutal to live with. I unfortunately relate to about 90 percent of the above.

 

Seriously bro just take a look at what you are saying. You are effing yourself with sex toys and you love and crave it. You do not want to top a guy and you want a masculine guy as a partner. Who gives a eff what someone thinks about you being the bottom. Why do these random people that are not effin you even enter the equation? How do they even know what position you and your partner are? How is it their business? Being masculine doesnt mean you are a top. There are masculine bottoms too. Maybe you are of them. You are not a sex position. You are a dude that likes dudes. How you choose to express that with your adult partner is your own damn business. You are only shaming yourself. If a bunch of gay dudes or straight dudes or straight women are bottom shaming you because they suspect your dude is the top, its only because they probably wanna get effed by his d$ck and are effin jealous bitter b$tches. Life is short, stop being controlled by random losers who arent doing nothing for you. I heard nyc had tons of gay men there. why does everyone say its a whore store?

 

Well I am from nyc area and I love getting fucked in the ass. So what I admitt it. My friends know to. I does'nt make me any less of a man. I still play sports and go diving all summer. I am just me . I enjoy being a bottom just like some enjoy being a top.
You are thinking to much . Learn to shut down your thoughts and enjoy life. So what if your gay. You have to be happy in life. If you worry what others think ,you will never be happy. You will be walking on eggshells forever.

 

nice!