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Being lonely & having sex life?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by OscarX, Nov 29, 2019.

  1. OscarX

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    So I'm 22 years old working and studying, I seem "normal" from the outside but I have no friends (never had), no social life at all and obviously no sexual/romantic life.
    I have a real difficulty and anxiety (I do take medication) in social situations, I believe my social skills are poor and I don't know how to even build connections or relationships with people, it's like I don't know how to communicate properly.
    Most of the time I don't desire social life because I'm so used to being lonely since early childhood, even when I'm in social situations I feel a strong need to isolate myself and be a alone. I do assume that I have some kind of mental disorder although I'm not diagnosed.

    I spend a lot of time on dating apps but I don't really engage nor know how to (fucking social skills), I do want to find a sexual partner but I'm too scared to meet in person. How would he react to my shyness and anxiety? Will he think I'm just weird?
    What happenes if I have a panic attack from nervousness or even start to cry?

    I feel hopeless and can't get out of this situation, I've been to a therapist for a few sessions and I felt like I was talking to myself, it was useless.

    Sometimes I feel like I have to accept my situation because it ain't gonna ever change and nobody understands me.
     
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  2. 18breanna

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    Exactly this is my situation as well! It makes me worry a bit about if this will affect my relationships in some way, but I'm very unsure
     
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  3. OscarX

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    Well.. do you have any social life? Your case might be different though
     
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  4. 18breanna

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    I have one in the most shallow sense of the word..what causes my problems is that I never learned to be close to people in the same way that others are, and it always brings me pain to see people become "inseparable" while I've only made a few acquaintances over the same period of time. Even through this, I tend to still spend so much time alone, and I don't know why. Which is why I seriously question sometimes if I'll ever be close enough to someone to have a relationship..but who knows what the future will hold
     
  5. Dreamsexul

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    I really sorry to hear about your situations.

    And I wish I had some genuine advice to offer, but I don't really understand human relationships at all.

    All I can offer you is the hope that I've seen and spoken to many very socially awkward, shy and anxious folk who manage to find relationships. Far more than I expected, tbh. It seems that even the most socially difficult folk can often find love and sex and romance. So I wouldn't give up hope. But rather re-double your efforts - try whatever you can to empower yourself and find what you need. Good luck :slight_smile:
     
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  6. 18breanna

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    I recently set my sights on entering a relationship (next year..lol), so I will definitely update on my situation/if I find success. I might make a thread on here for people pursuing the same goal so we can talk/compare experiences.
     
    #6 18breanna, Dec 10, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2019
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  7. Dreamsexul

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    I wish you the best of luck! :slight_smile:

    I love being in love, and I hope all may have what I have without the limitations :slight_smile:
     
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  8. alwaysforever

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    It's certainly possible to be with other people and still be lonely. Connecting with others, having a community that provides a sense of belonging and fulfillment of purpose is what prevents loneliness. Sex doesn't really change that by itself.
     
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  9. 18breanna

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    Haha, thanks so much!

    For me, I look for the emotional connection as well as a sexual one. Plus, I feel that a sexual connection for me requires that deeper sense of connection..but that's just me xD