In another post I described my wife's horrible behavior last night including chastisement, gay bashing and down right hateful statements. She was drinking but that's no surprise. Today she acts like none of it happened. I filled her in on the highlights and she denies saying the things or feeling the way she described. I believe those words she spoke last night were real and from her true heart. I told her she needs to let me into that information because it's real and pretending things are okay is not going to work for me anymore. She still denies it Says I'm making it all up!
That in some serious gaslighting she's doing there. No doubt out of shame or anger at herself for it, but the fact that she's trying to lie to you (when you presumably were sober and she wasn't) is...I want to say unbelievable, but I guess it really isn't? She's clearly not processing things well, and while I can sympathize, I definitely don't think it gives her an excuse to treat you so horribly. I think you approached it well, telling her she needs to be honest because it isn't healthy for either of you. Maybe with time, she'll come around.
Possibly drunk and in a blackout. It's not uncommon for serious drinkers and alcoholics to honestly not remember what they said and/or did while under the influence of alcohol.
