So I got into a ridiculous situation last week... I walk into work, and more days than not pass a guy who walks in the opposite direction. After about a month of this we started exchanging smiles of recognition and then eventually saying 'hi' as we passed each other. So far so easy. On Friday he stopped, started chatting, asked my name and then finally asked if he could give me his number and we could get a coffee some time. I had no idea how to respond (totally clueless) so said "Sure" and took his number... thus ending up in a situation where I was either going to have to brazen it out every single weekday morning, change my route to work to avoid him, or actually contact him and say something. Smooth. Anyway, I decided I couldn't cope with Option 1 (too much stress before 8 am) or Option 2 (I'd have to go miles out of my way), so (with Monday morning approaching) just texted him and said it wasn't going to work out because I only date girls... So, in conclusion, I'm out to a total randomer I've only spoken to once but still not to my closest friends or family
Okay so you panicked a little... Well that's okay it happens (especially if he was cute). Are you simply not ready to be "out"? What did he say when you texted him? You could explain stuff if you think he won't blab it to the whole office and play it by ear.
He's perfectly okay-looking but he's a guy so I'm not attracted to him! It was a 'sudden social interaction with a stranger and unable to think quickly enough' thing, plus the fact that I know I still have residual weirdness about being gay and find it asuper-awkward to talk about. I don't work with him - he presumably works somewhere in the opposite direction to me based on the direction he's walking in when we pass. I texted something along the lines of 'sorry for not being clear earlier, you seem like a nice guy but I'm gay so it obviously wouldn't work out, hope we can keep saying hi in the mornings' and he just replied to say thanks for being honest and he'll probably see me tomorrow. I'm out to some people but only as and when it comes up - I've never done a 'I have something to tell you' type announcement to anyone.
It is pretty normal to have a few of these heart stopping awkward moments before you nail down the whole how and when you want to come out to people. It often seems (or at least seemed to me) a little weird but almost easier to come out to people I didnt know when first coming out, rather than established friends or family. All in all I think you handled it pretty well.
As silverhalo mentioned, having the moment you have experienced is normal. Every time you are in a situation where you have to make a choice between, 'do I say it?' or 'do I talk around it?' a part of you that wants to protect you as it were kicks in. Plus, there is likely still a part of you that doesn't want everbody to know so for you to be able to control the timing of when it is right time to come out. The more people know, the less of a control you have.
OP if it'll make you feel better, I'll tell you about Hans. Hans is our varsity hockey coach and he's glorious in all his radiant Finnish beauty. Tall — bit shorter than me and I'm 6'6 — bleach-blond/black (dirty blonde but the blonde is almost white), light blue ice like eyes... The man is gorgeous, ok? (Straight as a ruler though, but if he wasn't oh boy...) But anyways. I can't hold a conversation with that man. I get a little tongue tied and my sharp wit ain't so sharp. I love watching him skate though. It's an art.
Sounds like he took it pretty well. I feel you on the awkward bit, though. When you're thrown for a loop like that, it's hard to just come right out and say "I'm gay" because you don't know them. It would be the same about blurting out anything personal, but when sexuality comes into the mix, it certainly makes for an uncomfortable exchange. Try not to beat yourself up about it. I'm sure he appreciates you saying it when you did, rather than stringing him along.
This made me laugh as I also really identify with it too before I came out. Although it is awkward I actually found it pretty liberating being able to be my true self with another human being, even if they were a stranger. This is just another wee step hopefully in the right direction for you. I found that each time I came out to someone my confidence would build so it's good maybe to start with strangers in a way. The guy responded pretty well too. I've had at least a few men respond with "I'm a lesbian too" when I told them
