My Dad lost his job a few months ago and has been living off of unemployment and whatever his wife gives him. He lost his health insurance and has been paying out of pocket for medical stuff with his dwindling expenses. Monday was my birthday and even though he had a bad flu he came over to my house for a few hours to spend time with me. I saw him again today and in addition to being slightly agitated, I noticed his lips seemed like they were a very dark color. I don't know if this was a trick of the light or what I was seeing, but it was really weird and I said "Why are your lips purple?" He seemed confused when I asked him and he said "I don't know." He has high blood pressure and depression. He's medicated for both of them, but has been weaning himself off of his antidepressant, an antidepressant I used to be on called Effexor and I begged him not to go off of it because the withdrawal is hell but he said he just wants to see what it's like to feel like himself again. He spends most of his days searching for a job but I don't know what he's going to do. The whole "dark lips" thing really sent a shiver down my spine, though. Either he hadn't noticed it himself or he didn't think much of it. He's extremely stubborn and only goes to the doctor if it's an emergency. Like last year he had a kidney stone and he went to the doctor for that, but this thing with him looking like he maybe had purple lips is really bothering me. I feel like I should text his wife about it but I don't know if I'm overstepping. He's turning 60 next month. In comparison, his father only lived to be 49. I'm worried that a similar fate might await all the guys on our side of the family as my Dad's father. But my Dad is the oldest male member of his side of the family in quite some time, so that's a good sign, I guess. I just don't know what I should do here. Should I text my stepmom and see what she thinks? Or should I let this whole thing play out because I don't want to overstep my boundaries and may have simply been seeing nothing but a trick of the light? I'm really worried about him. He and I are similar in many ways, we've both struggled with our weight over the years, we're both prone to mental illness and we used to agree on a lot of the issues politically, but my politics have taken a drastic turn since I started thinking for myself. Anyway, I just don't know what I should do, does anyone have any advice?
Maybe you can text your stepmom and tell her about your concerns? In my opinion, that wouldn't really hurt, and it wouldn't be overstepping your boundaries if you just point out your observations without drawing a conclusion, allowing her to assess the situation and take a call. That way the situation would still be in her control, her decision, so it wouldn't be too bothering or nosing your way into their life. Again, this is merely my opinion.
I agree, texting the stepmom isn’t a bad idea. You’re just being observant and want to know if he’s okay.
I think it's reasonable to mention your concerns to your stepmom, and let her decide what, if any, action steps to take.
I texted my stepmom this morning, about an hour ago. She said he's feeling better from his bout with the flu everyday and she noticed the lips thing too but doesn't think it's anything to worry about.
I saw my Dad on Friday afternoon, I had to drop something off at his house. He seems to be feeling better and his lips seem to be less discolored. I'm just worried about him because he told his heart doctor that everything was fine just so he could get refills and avoid procedures like EKGs because he doesn't want to pay for them because he refuses to get government assistance health insurance because he thinks Obama is pure evil for providing it. His worldview can be so twisted and it makes me sad to see that he's gotten to the state of mind he's in.
