Hey guys, took me until 27 to come out. Feel like I’ve missed the whole gay scene and gay bars/clubs. I’m now in a relationship and I somehow went from being curious, ###### then relationship and completely missed out on the gay scene. Don’t get me wrong I’m really happy in my relationship and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise that but Is it normal to feel like you’ve missed out on something? I really wish I’d come out younger as I always knew I liked girls but resisted it. Annelise xo
Welcome to EC. Yes, I think it’s fairly normal. And to be honest, 27 is still fairly young. You’ve got loads of life to live as an out woman. I think most people make their peace with it in time. You weren’t ready. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
Thanks. Yeah that’s true. I definitely feel quite old. There is a list of things I want to experience and do now I’m out. Guess it all comes down to mindset. You’re only as old as u think u are
Hey I also came out at around 27 there were sometimes especially at the beginning where I wished I had come out earlier but then I think we come out when we are ready and the time is right.
I didn't come out until earlier this year, (just shy of my 32nd birthday) so no worries--everyone comes out at their own pace. But I definitely get what you're feeling; since coming out Bi the feeling has calmed down a bit, but it really was intense for a bit, and it still hits me now and again how different things might have been. From what I've seen and heard, it's a perfectly normal process for lots of people. I wish you all the best in your relationship and in your journey.
Congrats on coming out. I'm 46 married and just came out to myself and like you feel like I missed a lot by hiding. I think those feelings your having are normal and things that will work out. Good luck
I was also 34 when I came out. Then I became really ill for a few years. I definitely regret not being out sooner but at the same time I think a lot of people who came out as teenagers had a very difficult time at school so in some ways you protected yourself from that. 27 is still actually pretty young. Could you not get involved with the gay scene along with your girlfriend? Its good to make lgbt+ friends even if you’re in a relationship.
Absolutely normal....if the relationship you're in doesn't feel magical. When it's magical, the idea of missing out on the scene just doesn't exist.
It’s a bizarre feeling, especially if you’re dating someone and happy. Hopefully I can make the most of the rest of my life as an out woman
Yeah I’ve kinda discussed it with her but she’s very much been there done that got the t shirt. I’m meeting and making friends in Wales through work so that may help. My friends in Bristol love a good night out but they aren’t in that circle
Yeah I think everyone has said the same thing, you come out when the time is right for you. I’m determined to make the most of it now and enjoy all the things I couldn’t do or didn’t feel confident enough to when hiding who I really was.
I think it’s definitely healthy in a relationship to pursue your own wants and needs. Even if your girlfriend has already engaged with the scene, don’t let it hold you back. I remember in my late twenties feeling like I was too old for partying and things but now I look back and I realise that was so ridiculous. You can engage with the scene at any age. You can go out and have a wild time at any age. And the great thing about being LGBT we aren’t part of the heteronormative society so we don’t have to follow social norms. We can just make it up as we go along and do what we feel. Age is an illusion
Same here! I came out in my 20s and immediately got my first girlfriend who I love dearly. Still, she’s almost 30 and has been an out lesbian since 17 so she’s so past what you and I are experiencing now. Maybe we need to find a gay noobie social/ support group haha
Congratulations Annelise. I came out at 27 too! I was in the closet for almost 11 years (I realized I was gay when I was 16) and it was hard. But it was worth it when I found an amazing group of like-minded and open-minded individuals who I could come out to. They really supported me and I spent the next six months exploring everything ha ha, dating apps, intimacy with men (I'm gay!) and hanging out with a gang of gay guys. . There were many times I wished I had the courage and the opportunity to come out much earlier, when I was younger. But then again I think that the years gave me the maturity, the outlook and the wisdom to deal with situations better. I still think 27 is the new 17 ha ha! . I hope you're enjoying your new experience
