My ex doesn’t know about my sexuality and, for the moment, I would like to keep it that way. I left without my partner having any prior warning or knowledge, and I don’t want to rock the boat right now. However, he won’t accept that it’s over. I have said on several occasions that there is no prospect of us getting back together, and he still persists in asking for another chance, for relationship counselling, etc. and telling me things I don’t really want to know, like details of his personal therapy sessions. We have to communicate because we have a child together. I have requested that communication is only about our child and not about us in the context of a relationship, and he is still messaging me about us getting back together. I don’t want to create a negative atmosphere between us and I don’t want to set up false expectations. I guess all I can do is keeping repeating that I’m not interested? He seems to think I’m being unreasonable in not giving him another chance and has said that it would be in our child’s interests for us to attempt getting back together. Any ideas? Thank you.
Aww thats tough, I guess there isnt much you can do apart from just be firm and keep repeating yourself, frustrating though it must be. Hopefully someone else will have better ideas.
I hear your frustration. It sounds very hard. And I agree with Silverhalo that maintaining a calm and consistent line is the only way forward.
My heart reaches out for you!!! I'm through the exact issue myself. In my case, I told my wife I'm gay but she won't accept it. I'd advice you to tell the real reason for you not wanting him back, but you said you don't want to complicate things further...so maybe one way is to keep being gentle, but firm. Don't accept this behaviour from him (it seems to me that he keeps pushing you into giving him a chance, which in turn makes you feel guilty, am I right?) and make it clear to him you won't accept being pushed around. I understand it's a delicate situation, but I guess being consistent is the way to go. Wish you all the best!
Another option is to not respond to that type of message at all. Act as if they don't exist. Texts about picking up child? Reply. Texts about getting back together? Radio silence. Emails that have both? Answer the allowed parts. Maybe gremlins ate the whiny bits and you never saw them. Oh well! Gremlins do love whining, unlike you. Win-win. In-person or phone whiny? Make your subject changes blunt and obvious, like, HOW BOUT THAT DRAWING FROM CHILD THO, YOU CAN ALMOST TELL IT'S A HUMAN THIS TIME. Ex doesn't cooperate? End the convo and try again another day. You have to interact, it doesn't have to be on someone else's terms. Good luck!
