1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How do we know if someone wants to just be friend or wants more ?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Nic2552, Nov 2, 2019.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Nic2552

    Nic2552
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2018
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    116
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Maybe I’m alone In this one, but I struggle even in the relationship I’m in , which is my very first lesbian relationship, I can’t tell if she’s wants to stay with me or wants to remain friends. Before dating same sex I found personally easier to answer this question but dating same sex it’s hard...why is that? Why is it so hard to know lgbt+ community likes or wants ? How do you know when someone wants to be friends or not ? Am I the only person experiencing please explain your story if related ?
     
    #1 Nic2552, Nov 2, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2019
  2. musicteach

    musicteach
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2019
    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    88
    Location:
    Mid-west
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Have a conversation with her and articulate your concerns. There's power in effective communication.
     
    #2 musicteach, Nov 2, 2019
  3. Mirko

    Mirko
    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,884
    Likes Received:
    3,221
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I wonder if you could say a bit more about the struggles, difficulties you are having. How come you are having the question of whether your partner wants to be with you or sees you as a friend?

    Getting to know your partner, her likes, wants, and dating in general shouldn't be all that different than if it were a heterosexual relationship. You will of course have people who will be more open, straightforward on their needs and wants, whereas others might need time to feel comfortable bringing them up more specifically.

    As you get to know someone, and listen what they reveal about themselves, you might already get some insights. That said, As the poster above mentioned, it might be a good idea to have a conversation with your partner.
     
    #3 Mirko, Nov 2, 2019
  4. Lin1

    Lin1
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,336
    Likes Received:
    531
    Location:
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    What I have noticed dating women is that women don't know how to communicate. They like to overthink, over-interpret or guess instead of asking and react to their interpretations and guesses creating further miscommunication and confusion.

    My advice: ask.

    If you don't know something; ask, if you are confused about something: ask, if you want to know something: ask, just talk and communicate.

    We can't know if she wants to stay with you or not, so ask her.

    if you two can't talk to each other then your relationship is doomed to begin with.

    Relationships take compromising and understanding and both of those things require communication.

    So sit your gf down and talk to her and same for any girl you might date after that.

    if you are unsure of something, do ask and be pro-active. It's made my life a thousand times easier
     
    #4 Lin1, Nov 2, 2019
    dirtyshirt84, DirectionNorth, musicteach and 1 other person like this.
  5. dirtyshirt84

    dirtyshirt84
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2015
    Messages:
    485
    Likes Received:
    271
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I would totally agree with this. I think when men are sexually interested in someone they tend to be much more direct about it. I think it’s very common to hear about women who have ambiguous friendships, especially when first realising or accepting their sexuality.

    As Linning says communication is key. I myself am pretty bad at making assumptions which in some cases have turned out to be wrong. If in doubt - ask. It will save you a lot of time and confusion.
     
    #5 dirtyshirt84, Nov 3, 2019
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)