i really don’t want to be asexual and I need to know: is there any way my lack of sexual attraction to anyone be anyth other than asexuality? Could it be a hormonal imbalance or anyth ? Anyth at all just pls tell me I have cancer or smth but at least I have a chance of fixing it. I don’t want to miss out on attraction it seems like a great thing to experience but every time I try to make out I feel filthy afterwards even though I think abt sex positively when I masturbate. I have nothing against asexuals and they’re definitely swell I just don’t want o not want sex and not have all those experiences. I know asexuals ca have sex but it’s not the same. It’s less _good_ and I just want to not be asexual ok please blease
Definitely not an expert, but past trauma sounds like if not the whole of it, it could at least be a contributing factor. Hormonal imbalances may be another, but it's also entirely possible that other things might be influencing your lack of interest in sex/intimate physical contact. Do you have an aversion to touching people in general, like a phobia of germs or anything?
No I’m fine with intimacy like hugging etc. But do how do I get past the trauma tho? It doesn’t seem to affect me that much mentally anymore it’s just smth that happened and I’ve just accepted it. Google says hormonal imbalances can’t change ur sexuality only ur sex drive but what’s the difference?
Sadly I don't have the answer. Trauma is something that takes time to work through, and for some people that means talking with a professional. Okay, so with asexuality it doesn't automatically mean "no libido". Some asexuals don't have a sex drive, others do. What it does mean is a lack of sexual attraction. So in sum, an asexual can still be horny, but it isn't brought on by being attracted to someone. The fact that you don't have a problem with other forms of touch seems to indicate that it probably isn't trauma (unless that trauma was sexual in nature, which I won't ask; that's personal). You might very well be asexual. Give yourself time to work through things, though, maybe get to know other people who identify as ace and see how much of their experiences and your own line up. It might give you more clarity.
I am not a therapist but trauma could definitely be a factor. Other factors could be your age or medications or even anxiety. Are you taking any antidepressants? They often kill sex drive, feeling, or desire. Roughly what is your age range? If you are in your teens then your hormones could still clicking into place. Brain development continues through age 24-26 for men, and 22-24 for women. Also, thinking about it too much much could also be an issue. If you are unknowingly causing yourself some anxiety over this then that could be hurting your attraction/feeling. On the other hand, if you are asexual, most people who are asexual live happy lives and often live with (and even have sex with) their significant others. There are asexuals who also show physical affection by cuddling, making out, and being emotionally intimate. You may also want to look up Demi-sexual. That means that you won’t be physically attracted to someone until you have a deep emotional connection with them.
Do you take medications for/related to therapy? Some medications can cause low sex drive, low attractiveness.
I chalked myself up as asexual, but it turned out I was suppressing my attraction to women. I wasn’t remotely attracted to males and didn’t want to acknowledge my attraction to women because I was ashamed because of my religious background. Not sure that fits your situation, though.
