Few weeks ago my mum confirmed what I was thinking, she was not longer with my dad. Everything is going to be so different now and it scares me. My family wasn’t like this and it’s sad. My mum moved out today. I never thought this could happen. When I was a kid, everything seemed fine and I thought we were a very happy family. We still love each other and we are happy but now it’s different. I cannot talk about this with anyone. I cannot talk about my feelings with anyone. Nobody cares and I just bother others with my problems.
Hey I'm sorry this has happened to you. I'm sure anyone finding out their parents are splitting up would be in shock to begin with. I can understand your fear about things being different but being different doesn't have to be a bad thing. When you were a kid they probably did all love each other. Just because things have happened between them doesn't mean they care about you any less.
I've been there, it really sucks. It was a huge shock to come home from my first year of college to discover my parents were dating new people. Suddenly just-the-three-of-us events weren't spontaneous, of-course things. And they were spending all this time with their new squeezes, and, AHHHH, U R NOT MY DAD BEGONE DEMON. Whew, ok, back down to earth. Here's what wisdom I have: 1. Change is inevitable. If it wasn't this, it would be something else. All change is scary. All change can be adapted to. Take all the time you need to feel upset and uncomfortable. If your parents bring someone new home, be polite, but don't feel pressured to have any kind of relationship with them that you're not ready for. 2. Start taking an active role in getting time with your parents. I'm taking one-on-one time, not parent+new partner. Right now it seems like everything good has gone the same way as your parents' relationship, but some of it is still there, you just need a new system to get it. Schedule a regular video chat. Have a weekly spitballing contest. Take a Zumba class together. Anything. Lots of sympathy. This is not easy at any age. *cyber hugs*
My parents split when I was six or seven. I remember, it was 1994, they took me and my brother in my room and said "We're splitting up," and both me and my brother cried. They were separated for ten years and finally divorced in 2004. I've pretty much never known any other life than having a split household. I can only barely remember when they were together because it's been so long since they were and I'm so used to having two birthdays and two Christmases that I'm virtually unphased by it all. I can't imagine life any other way. My Dad remarried in 2008 or 2009, and my Mom has a boyfriend of nearly twenty five years. I really can't possibly imagine what my parents breaking up as an adult would feel like. I'm sorry.
