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Help with crush

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Blanched, Oct 13, 2019.

  1. Blanched

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    So I like a guy a grade lower than me but I have a kind of weird past with him.
    When I rode the bus during the beginning of last year, he would occasionally ride too and sit next to me. Our conversations were usually pretty short because of how awkward I was (I still am but I've gotten a little better) and because he got off at the first stop. During these short conversations I found we had many similar interests, though I think I kind of pushed him away because I thought he was straight and I could tell I would probably develop feelings for him. He stopped riding the bus about half way through the year, and I got my license. We didn't really talk at all the rest of the year. Moving on to this year, my friend tells me a story that involves her jokingly flirting with this guy and a guy in my class. She says this guy said "I don't swing that way" in reply, but I'm not sure if he was serious or if it was a joke. But after she told me this, I realized it could be true and it could be possible I had a chance with him. I started paying attention to him in the classes I had with him. In my first class he sits in a group of desks by himself, as do I, and I realize he makes extended eye contact with me from accross the room. He smiles at me often when we see eachother in the halls. When I was walking to the door he complemented the book I was holding (even though he's almost certainly never read it) and put his hand on my shoulder.

    Sorry about the long back story, but what I want to know from all of you is:
    Do you think he actually likes me, or am I just seeing what I want to see? (I'm very good at that...)
    I want to sit next to him in my first class, how do I switch to the desk next to him in the least awkward way?
    Thank you so much
     
  2. artsy gays

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    Honestly, the feeling of not knowing is so crappy, completely get it, been in a similar position before, (I'm just too shy and awkward to ever do anything though) I would start with befriending this guy, get to know him, and if you decide to come out to him, maybe if he is also LGBTQ+, he might take that opportunity to tell you if he is too? Really get to know him, hang out with him, get his number etc. As for sitting with him, just slide over to him and say, hey, I think we'd do good teamwork in this class, or maybe the person over there wanted to swap with me to be with their friends, mind if I sit here? Even just, mind if I sit here? Keep it chill, keep it casual, take it slow.


    I'm really bad with this stuff but I saw that nobody else had replied and wanted to give it a go. I hope it works out, good luck!
     
    Gare Bear likes this.
  3. Blanched

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    So something else happened since I posted. We didn't want someone to sit at our lunch table so my friends asked my crush who sits at the table next to ours to sit at our table. My friend jokingly flirts with him again, he replies "We've been over this" She says "Oh you're right. (Me) loves you." and he replies "I'd be more receptive to that." He leaves after that because the person sat somewhere else. I honestly don't know what to think about that. I'm really bad at interpreting these things lmao.
     
  4. Gare Bear

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    Now that he has said something like that about you, you have a way to approach him to gauge where he actually stands on the spectrum. You can simply ask him something like, "Hey, were you serious when you said, "[you]'d be more receptive to [me]," I just wanted to know if you were just saying that to get her off your back or if you really do swing the other way". Something to that effect. Basically, you can try to use the "I'd be more receptive to him" thing to jumpstart a conversation about sexuality/romantic attraction. And take the conversation from there. Just a suggestion; since he planted the idea, it's not like it would be coming out of nowhere.

    Normally, I wouldn't recommend being so bold so quickly; however, he has vocalized not swinging that way, then he stood by his assertion of not swinging that way when met with unwanted flirting a second time (re: "we've been over this"), and then he mentioned that he would be more receptive to you as opposed to the flirtatious girl (hypothetically or otherwise). This all bolsters the argument in favour of asking him.

    In terms of interpreting whether he is just joking around or being serious when he says, "I don't swing that way," or, "I'd be more receptive to him," it depends on his personality and depends the delivery of the lines. That is to say, if he is saying these things deadpanned (in a monotonous, even tone) or in a nonchalant, casual tone, then it may very well be that he is serious about what he's saying. Some people actually mean what they say. Some don't. Some people are easier to figure out than others. Some are harder. Switch to the desk next to him in your first class like you wanted. Be bold and just sit there like it's business as usual. Maybe then, you'll have a chance to figure him out. The best relationship foundations are built on friendship after all. Go for it. Don't let the chance slip you by.
     
  5. artsy gays

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    uh oh, I'm not sure. I'm really not good with this stuff either sorry but from what they said maybe they do like you? I'm sorry I'm not much help