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How to best support genderqueer sibling???

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by artsy gays, Oct 13, 2019.

  1. artsy gays

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    My sibling recently came to me about questioning their gender. I'm a queer individual, so I was cool with it. I have a friend who is trans and I support him fully too, but I've found myself in constant need of advice from him on how to support my sibling. We both came out to my parents last night, but my sibling is still questioning. Being a cis female I don't have any experience with this. I know some stuff about gender identity and expression, but I really want to know how to better support them. My friend has been a great resource and he's happy to help however I'm aware that he has his own life and I need to do this myself. I just want to know what to say when my sibling cries because the way they feel that day means that their assigned pronouns hurt, or when their hair looks a certain way and they spiral with dysphoria. I'm probably saying things really wrong, sorry, please correct me. Any advice is very appreciated.
     
  2. Marss

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    How old are they? First of all just to know that you’re there for them and that you accepted them is already a great start! YouTube is the best place for this sort of advice, there are hundreds of trans related videos made by actual trans people . Check them out.
     
  3. Hawk

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    I think the simplest things you can do is to call them by their preferred name and pronouns, and view them as the gender they are. Also, it doesn't hurt to ask what's bothering them, or ask what you can do to help.
     
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  4. artsy gays

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    theyre 12 and thanks for the tip I really appreciate it
     
  5. artsy gays

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    Their name is technically gender neutral but they are finding it really difficult to deal with pronouns still, they're experimenting but they don't really know. I've told them that it's okay and they don't need to know, but aside from that, they don't really know what they need yet. I've helped them to try new things but that's about it. Thank you so much I really appreciate it
     
  6. BradThePug

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    Just by asking this question you are already being supportive. The other posters have covered a lot of the big things. I also will add if you accidentally use the wrong pronouns or name you can apologize. There is no need to freak out about it and make it a bigger issue. Most understand that change takes time and adjustment.
     
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  7. artsy gays

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    they are still in a school that doesn't necessarily understand their issues and so they haven't officially changed their pronouns I'm just using that here to avoid anything for the future if that does change, they want to use those pronouns but feel stuck because my parents don't understand so they will be changing schools next year so they will hopefully go from there
     
  8. BradThePug

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    That makes sense. That is another thing that is good to be aware of. It is good that you are aware of that as well. Hopefully they will be in a more supportive enviroment once they can switch schools.