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best way to see if a guy I have a crush on likes men?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by AlexGay, Oct 21, 2019.

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  1. AlexGay

    AlexGay
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    Hi,

    I have a "get together" with a guy who I like at Starbucks this Wednesday. Only reason why it's not a date at this point is because I don't know for sure if he likes guys. I get the sense as I perceived him being even nicer and even more of a gentleman than how he was in the past after intentionally making comments that imply that I like guys, and inviting him to the symphony.

    The way he talks reminds me of my uncle and his husband who are both gay. I have known my crush as buddies for a while, but never really pursued him as I was in the closet. I came out to and broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years a few weeks ago, and don't want to make myself appear to him as desperate, or that it is a rebound.

    Is it appropriate to ask a guy if he likes guys directly? Any particular way I should/should not do it? Note, he has mild social-based learning disabilities and Schizophrenia (well managed by medications). He is in his late 20's/early 30's and to my knowledge has never had a homosexual relationship before.

    Advice is much appreciated. I am so nervous! My first gay date coming up and I already have a huge crush on him. He is handsome, cute, a gentleman, and we have several mutual interests.

    Thank you so much!
     
    #1 AlexGay, Oct 21, 2019
  2. Maddox232003

    Maddox232003
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    Well definitely don't ask bluntly until you can confrim it. Just take it slow for now and go step by step. And just be yourself and that won't make you seem desperate.
     
    #2 Maddox232003, Oct 21, 2019
  3. AlexGay

    AlexGay
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    Thank you. What are some good ways to confirm if he likes guys before I ask him?
     
    #3 AlexGay, Oct 21, 2019
  4. joshy the queen

    joshy the queen
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    Well there is going to be people around, see who he checks out, guys or gals.
    Notice his body language around you, like when you hug does he keep his lower waist further away (scared it would trigger a boner) or does he not give it much thought.
    Did you ever catch him checking you out?
    Also try to ask him about his dating life, if he doesn't mention if it's a he or a she, try to make a remark that will make him slip up about their gender.
    If he is gay and he is into you, you will see it in his eyes trust me.
     
    #4 joshy the queen, Oct 21, 2019
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  5. AlexGay

    AlexGay
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    Thank you for the help. I think those ideas are excellent.
     
    #5 AlexGay, Oct 21, 2019
  6. resu

    resu
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    Unless you've told him directly you're gay, he may not have picked up your hints. Straight people can be very clueless, and if he knew about your girlfriend, he may still think you're straight. I think you should be direct in coming out to him, and then he might speak on his orientation, or at least get the hint you think this is may be a date.

    The hard thing about asking is that you may not get the truthful answer, either because he may not be sure himself or he's not ready.
     
    #6 resu, Oct 21, 2019
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