For those of you who use dating apps, what are things that turn you off when viewing a person's profile, or interacting with another user? It can be types of photos they've shown, words they've used to describe themselves or what they are looking for, or things they've said to you in messages that put you off wanting to see them. For me its when the person doesn't even bother to smile for their profile picture. You're trying to attract someone, and you've just uploaded a selfie with your face looking bored and miserable. Why would I bother talking to you? And I also dislike it when guys on gay dating apps use those filters to make themselves look like cartoon cats or something with sparkly eyes and flowers in their hair. You're a man in your late twenties, not a 13 year old school girl. Sure, I like to get in touch with my immature side sometimes, like when I'm playing with my neices and nephews, but not when I'm trying to find a hot guy to have a drink and possibly more adult fun with. And constantly being asked "how are you?" I've been asked that already by hundreds of guys this week. My customers ask me how I'm doing every day. Try saying something interesting and unexpected.
Bad grammar is something that turns me off. It’s hard to make a connection with somebody when I’m stuck trying to decipher what they’re saying.
It turns me off when guys don't have a picture of their face as their profile picture, but instead a picture of their feet and they message me. Be a fucking man and show your face! One time I told a guy who messaged me whose profile picture was just of his feet to meet me at an adult bookstore, I walked to the grocery store across the street from the adult bookstore so it would look like I was nearby on the app. He asked me where I was, I told him I was in one of the viewing booths when in reality I was across the street in the grocery store. He must have gone in and looked for me, but never found me because I took off before he could get a chance to pin down my location. After that, I blocked him.
If they won't show their face because it means either they're doing something shady like cheating on their wife, or are going to be super paranoid every time we meet anyway. Especially the "anonymous hookup" people. Hell no I'm not going to go meet you having no idea who you are. If they don't have at least one picture showing their body, fully clothed is fine, just something. When they don't it tells me either they have body self-esteem issues and will have issues with that, or their pictures are old and they don't look like that anymore and are trying to hide it by not adding new pictures. The people who put pictures of totally random things like food or cartoon characters. Like, dude, I hate blank profiles but I'd rather have a blank profile than pictures of burritos and weird anime stuff. The people who use extreme amounts of ghetto slang text language on their profiles. It's like a giant neon flashing sign saying avoid this person at all costs. It's not a race thing, I've seen white people do it, it's just an I literally can't speak to this person without getting mad thing. Stuff like "yo dawg imma lookin for some (eggplant emoji) because imma finna get my (diamond emoji) and imma be a (queen emoji) cuz u kno I be (fire emoji) and u best be treatin me like the best cuz I aint be the rest and I need some sugar from my daddy (ten random emojis for no reason). Ok not going to lie, this is really messed up man. Just block them and move on.
The phrase "looking for someone to spoil". I can't explain it, the phrase is just nails-on-the-chalkboard for me. Some turn*ons*...detailed profiles that show you've thought seriously about what you want. Intro messages that are personalized, so it's clear the message is for *me* instead of any warm body. Not a deal breaker, but I really like pics that show you doing something, anything, besides a standard posed smile. My profile has a pic from marching band and another of me handling a tiny snake. They are not flattering, but they are 100% me. I agree with Destin about Benway's mean prank.
I don't have a problem with guys not using a face pic for their profile pic, it's up to them if they don't want to risk being recognised (it doesn't always have to be because they are married, it could be because they don't want to be recognised by employees or customers, etc.) And as long as they show a face pic in a private message that's fine. Yeah, cartoon character pics are dumb. Unless you bear some sort of resemblance to that character, which could be amusing. Oh, and when people use group photos. I'm looking at 5 different people in this photo, which one are you???
Same. I use Darth Maul because I'm not comfortable showing my face on here. Plus it shows my love for Star Wars so there's that.
Oh and lets not forget toilet selfies. To be fair, bathrooms normally have the best lighting (something about the way white tiles reflect the light and illuminate our skin and muscles) but at least try not to get the toilet in there. No matter how clean and sparkly it is, it's still the facility you use to piss and shit and vomit.
I thought this thread was interesting. I read people's responses and kind of tried to think about what my (theoretical) response would be. I've never used the apps. I mean I've thumbed through what I think of as the main one on friends' phones, but I honestly can't imagine actually meeting someone that way. Even the mental exercise of this thread just largely eluded me. I guess I'm just old fashioned...
SO much. Thank god I wasn't on them for long. * Guys who can't talk. This includes not being able to carry out a conversation and having terrible grammar. It is completely fine to occasionally fuck up words like effect/affect or make typos. There's an unknown threshold for me where it just becomes too much lol. And I get it can be hard to make conversation with a stranger. But some guys didn't ask a me a single question and always had short replies. We both swiped on each other, so we both find each other attractive. If they changed their mind, I'd honestly rather that they ghost me mid conservation. *Trying too hard (pictures). This includes shirtless pictures, those on-bed-with-butt-up pictures, mirror pics and random object for scale pictures. I get guys can be thirsty but for me personally screams attention seeking. There are more, but more so on a case-by-case basis.
I don't like it when gals have badly cropped profile pictures. Also I don't like it when they seem full of themselves. Sometimes they will say something such as I'm amazing and it just sort of rubs me the wrong way. I get they want to talk themselves up but to me that's almost bragging and being unrealistic. It's good you mentioned you don't like guys asking how you are. That's what I ask the ladies but maybe I will have to try switching things up now.
I agree with your points. The thing that annoys me the most is when people message me with "hey". Just that. Nothing more. Just "hey". That is especially annoying when their profile is empty, without any details about them. Or, sometimes, it is not empty, but it contains a random quote like "Be the person you want to be, follow your dreams, be honest", yadda yadda. Then, when I answer that "hey" with another "hey!", most of them proceed with "How are you?", I answer "Good, and you?", and they reply again with "good!". And that's the end of the conversation. It's extremely annoying that I am the one who needs to be "guiding" conversations most of the time, and it's hard to find guys who are able to simply talk to me. Excluding those who are just interested in sex and nudes - those are way "too forward". I get it. I am extremely shy, especially outside of the internet. However, if you are starting a conversation, regardless if you are in an app, in a party or in a game store, something in that person probably catched your attention (even when it's not about romance and dating!). Personally, I like starting a conversation in apps by commenting on something I saw on their profile, like "Hey! How are you? I see you like games! Have you been playing anything interesting these days?". It's simple, but I'm trying to start a conversation on a topic that seems interesting for both. I don't think most people randomly walk up to another person in real life and say "hey" while staring creeply without saying anything else. I'm not saying this is the "ideal strategy" (there is no such thing), nor that I am a "master of dating" (I'm not - I suck at it). However, I wish people would simply talk to each other. I don't want anyone writing me an essay (funny enough, I had this problem once - a girl that noticed my interest in politics and started to send me 30 minutes long voice messages about the russian revolution. I didn't had the time to listen and answer properly). But I also think it would be nice if people said more than just "hey" when talking to me.
Comments like "I'm looking for someone who is beautiful inside and out". Everyone defines beauty differently so it sounds incredibly abstract and stupid for me. Also some people say they're looking for those who look "straight". What?
My top 10 hits: Pictures of them smoking. Pictures with filters of those god-awful animal muzzles/tongues. People who are so "chill" and "laid-back" that they actually come off boring and disengaging. Tell a joke or something, life ain't so serial. No pictures of them at all. People who're too sexual. People who ask for sexually explicit photos. People who fall too hard too soon. People who have a wall up. I really can't stand those athletic types who say they're big "foodies". Actually the word "foodies" alone irritates me. People who type in text talk ALL the time.