Now that I've finally admitted I'm gay its consuming my thoughts daily. I think about my sexuality all the time now. I wonder if others can tell. I want to connect with other LGBTQ to discuss. I frequent this daily multiple times a day. Has any others had this same experience?
Non stop and it’s driving me crazy. But I can’t believe how much better I feel when I think about myself as a gay man and not my shadow “straight self” that I project to everyone else
Yup! I’ve also had this. I also felt instant confidence and felt free, although a little scared. It’s part of you that has been stuffed down so is a big deal. I imagine in time it’ll start to calm down, right now it’s fresh and new.
Yup same here.... I have flirted with the idea of possibly being bisexual for the past several years but lately I have taken a long look at my life and can see there were signs ever since I was probably 7 or 8. I finally was able to say to myself yesterday that I am gay and for some reason or other it felt ok I knew it all long just never wanted to admit to it and now it has consumed my every thought .... I do feel empowered in a way that I have never felt before and my self confidence and acceptance is definitely up with accepting this. That said I’m lonely and isolated as hell and would love to be able to meet up with and chat with other gay people to share experiences with and connect with others...
What you are experiencing is the feeling of liberation that occurs once you face the realization that indeed your gay. The internal barriers start to fade, the internalized homophobia begins to recede and you start to understand that being gay is perfectly fine. For me three years into my gay evolution and while some of the initial euphoria of freedom and liberation has faded I still find it awesome to be able to say openly I'm gay and this is my BF. I am still learning my way in the gay world and each day increases my comfort in knowing exactly who I am and being proud of it. I went from trying to hide the fact I was gay to becoming totally open and honest about the fact that I am 100% gay and completely happy with myself and my sexuality.
Keep in mind our lives are a marathon and not a sprint. If you keep on the path of finding and being the authentic you it will come. Sometimes I think we expect immediate results, immediate clarity, immediate rewards. Life unfortunately does not normally work that way. I know in my case I wanted to embrace every aspect of gay life as soon as I came out. Impossible task and totally unrealistic but we are human and as such have our flaws. I promise if you stay true to your inner compass you will find the life you desire.
Yes, that happened to me too. I immersed myself in lesbian music, movies, and tv shows. I had a longing to connect with other LGBT+ people, but never could figure out where to go to find them, so it was a bit frustrating. It's been a couple of years since I had the realization that I was gay and the obsessing thoughts about it have faded. Sometimes I miss that intensity.
Thanks for the reply. I feel the same way as being lonely as hell. I'm yearning to connect with others and discuss these feelings/emotions.
Hey CJ, This is normal. It's totally normal for this process to consume your thoughts. It won't last though, so just work through it for now and eventually the "newness" of coming out will fade into the background and you will resume your life. For me, it took the better part of two years before things returned to "normal" or at least until I established a "new normal."
After a certain point being gay just becomes normal for you. You adjust to the new reality of your sexuality and it just becomes part of who you are. You begin to stop obsessing about being gay and just start living life as a gay man or woman. It is a wonderful stage of your evolution to be comfortable being gay.
Yes! and a 'relief' I realize how much time and energy was consumed in denial, trying to date women....avoid looking at men... It's probably just the brain mapping out a new direction in life. Before , in denial there wasn't much to do on the affirmative front... but now, emotions and desires are released and you're looking for ways to manifest it in the world. You mentioned being lonely - I didn't realize how lonely I was, i thought I was 'just a loner' but accepting that I was gay made me realize I was lonely for intimacy- it wasn't as compelling in denial because the desire for intimacy with a woman wasn't nearly as strong... This kind of loneliness makes me want to take action.
