Being bored in relationships

I wonder if you need to forget about others for a bit and just think about what’ll make being you more enjoyable. And what I mean by that is to do a little homework to really figure out what sort of new things you could take up. So, for example, do you enjoy the details or are you more a big picture person? Do you prefer one on one interactions or enjoy being part of a group? I think if you can figure these types of things out, it would lead you to new hobbies and activities which will be fulfilling on their own and therefore improve your outlook on life but also put you in situations where you’d be meeting others with similar interests and thus anything is possible.

Eg. Let’s say you like physical activity but are not crazy about the idea of being on a team. How about taking up tennis? Even in doubles, you really don’t talk that much but if you get into a situation of regular lessons or play, you can easily build up an easygoing camaraderie with the others that could potentially be the start of real connections.

You can extrapolate this scenario to any activity but the absolute necessity is that YOU enjoy it. You must find that first. It IS possible.

 

I'm a bit late in responding to this, but this was a great post @Chip!

 

I did quite a bit of dating when I was in college, and I don't think I've ever met someone who would break it off with someone they were dating because that person's life was "too quiet."

Lying and exaggerating is never the solution. Even if it makes people more interested in you today, they're going to get miffed when they find out it was all a lie. And if you ever hope for a relationship to become long-term, the reveal is basically inevitable.

Not everyone requires spontaneity and nonstop excitement in their romantic partners, so if what you say is, in fact, true, it comes down to what I said originally, which is that you've just not found the right person for you yet. And by "the right person," I want to clarify that I mean someone who's highly compatible with you. I'm not saying there's only one person who's right for you and you have to find that person like a needle in a haystack.

You've said you like your quiet life, so in terms of a "quick fix," it seems to me that you have 2 choices: If your "boring" life is truly as off-putting as you say, then you can either (a) continue to live this way and potentially be alone while doing it, or (b) try to find ways of being more exciting and interesting to the types of people you find yourself dating. Meanwhile, I would suggest finding a new therapist. And I don't mean that as an insult; in fact, I think anybody would benefit from having a good therapist. I actually have one myself.

Wish you the best of luck regardless.