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The reality of affection

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Cinnamon Bunny, Sep 21, 2019.

  1. Cinnamon Bunny

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    So a lot of us didn't get to explore our sexuality or romantic physical affection in our teens years. We didn't get to know what we like through experience. Being in my 30's, I had a lot of time to dream about, read about, and watch romance and precieve my wants and desires.

    Now that I have a girlfriend and I visited her, it was very enlightening. Some things I believed I love, I did. Some things I had no clue I liked, buy I found out through exploration with her. Other things I thought I'd savor, I felt very apathetic about. It was baffling and disappointing for me to find out I don't like kissing a lot. Kissing seemed amazingly sweet and warmed my heart in fiction, but in reality I'd rather kiss skin than a mouth. It's also kind of embarrassing to figure out I love some very unconventional things that many people would say "no way" to.

    In some ways it's like I really didn't know myself. I just wanted to know if this was other people's experience too... or am I an unusual case?
     
  2. Marss

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    Yes...I feel the same. Maybe you and your girlfriend aren’t very good kissers? lol I’m kidding. Anyway I’ve yet to try things out and I worry that I won’t like them as much as I do in my head, I’ve been through several phases with myself also! I say just be glad for the things you do like instead of the things you thought you would like. Don’t worry, your case isn’t as unusual as you think it is. :slight_smile:
     
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  3. Kmermaid00

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    I don't like holding hands so I get it.
     
  4. Peterpangirl

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    Things you like may differ from.person to person too...
     
  5. silverhalo

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    Yeah I definitely think I had some of that. I think it is because things aren't always as we imagine them, but also perhaps because when we already think we are going to absolutely love something before we have experienced it, it already has a lot to live up to. On the other hand, things which we haven't thought about or weren't sure if we would like have no expectations.
    Everyone is different, you like what you like and what you dont like thats fine too. As long as you are enjoying yourself with your girlfriend and you are both happy it is all good.
     
  6. Devil Dave

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    Yes, I've enjoyed kissing come people on the mouth more than others... I've enjoyed doing other things with certain people, but it's like our kissing was not compatible.
     
  7. beenthrdonetht

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    To address OP's comments, I have totally also found out that X wasn't as exciting as I expected/wanted, but Y was awesome. Where I will leave X and Y as an exercise for the reader. As others have concurred, you are normal. (Ha, in this respect anyway, don't want to presume.)

    One maneuver does stand out however, and that is bed-sharing. Sometimes it's like "aargh, I can't move in my own bed" and others it's like "how did I ever sleep without this person nearby?" I hope it's the latter for you.
     
    #7 beenthrdonetht, Sep 28, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2019