How’s this for a controversial idea? Most men are attracted to women. Female sexuality, by its nature, is deeply consequential (ie they have babies). Men feel the allure of women, are deeply attracted to their sexuality, but don’t want to suffer the consequences of their involvement, nor the highs and lows of the emotional connection it generates. Therefore they turn to men, who offer easy NSA sex. There is no emotional connection, no deep psychic fulfilment...but it’s an exciting outlet that actually promotes something that men don’t usually share with each other - vulnerability. Some may even choose to take the female role, just to see what it’s like and to pretend that a female is present in the act, increasing the excitement. The question I now pose to you all is this: how deeply and painfully in denial of my sexuality am I to be able to cook this up? Or is there even a grain of truth to any of this?
I do not agree. Until I met the man who utilimately became my BF I had no clue that my attraction to women was superficial. My embracing my homosexuality had nothing to do with any difficulty being in a relationship with them. I just discovered finally my sexual and emotional attraction to men was so much greater and much more enjoyable.
I didn't want to be gay when I thought I had only gay sex urges...when I realized my needs were also romantic, that's when I realized not only was I gay, that I wanted to be gay...and I don't want to be straight.
at some point most of us who have come to terms with our sexuality realize it's not a bad habit we want to get rid of like smoking, its something we want inside but our denying ourselves. It sounds weird but sometimes it helps me to say or think to myself "I want to be gay"
It sounds like you know a of this yourself already. I am by no means 'perfect' at this I've ran back into the closet a bunch of times, but there will come a point where you realize the denial is the way, not your sexuality, only you can decide but if you're sitting around trying to drum up theories it implies the existence of something. I did this too.. well I fantasize about guys because x reason. Someone asked me on this forum once, if I had the same intense sexual and romantic hetero desires would I be so skeptical of them?
Yeah, no. Try asking any straight guy if he's interested in getting it on with another guy. The answer is going to be a resounding 'no'. And even if a genuinely straight guy decides to be adventurous... they aren't going to get aroused, aren't going to enjoy it, It's going to be entirely "meh" and uninteresting. It's not even remotely exciting. It's no different than asking a gay guy to hook up with a girl. For most of them, the idea will get just as resounding a 'no'. It simply isn't interesting, and they aren't going to get even slightly aroused. Pretty deep and painful. Nope. Not in my opinion or experience.[/quote][/quote]
Actually... simply by asking this, you're really more in bargaining than in denial. "OK, I like guys, but it's just for the NSA sex. I'm still straight". So ... see it as progress
There is some grain of truth. But not for 100% straight guys. They have to be open for it and like to enjoy the sex with men. Its my case as well. So i have a part of bisexuality in me that not every man has, even if they were extremely frustrated by women. For me having sex with men is a way of repressing my deep feelings and attraction i have for women when not finding any that suits. Thats also what my therapist thinks. But again: that wont happen to a fully straight guy.
