Is it normal for bi people to swing hard the other way after a breakup?

About a month ago, my then-girlfriend broke up with me after a few months. It was a peaceful split, and it happened mainly because she decided she wasn’t in the right place in life to be in a long-term relationship. Pathetic as this may sound, this was pretty much the longest relationship I had ever been in, and the most satisfying. I was pretty inexperienced before it. Obviously it hurt really fucking bad. But I slowly moved on.


All the while I’ve noticed my sexuality changing. Before I met my ex and while I was with her, I considered myself bi but leaning heavily towards women. And hell, I even felt this way in the week or two after it ended. But since then, I’ve been feeling increasingly gay. I had been with men before meeting my ex, but I considered my feelings for them both romantically and sexually to be lesser in intensity. Not anymore. I’ve never been more attracted to them than I am now. My relationships with men in the past have been purely sexual, but now more than ever, I want to date one.


My new uni semester started just recently, and unlike previous semesters where I was desperate to find a girlfriend, I feel more relaxed and open-minded. I’m back on that ubiquitous app and all that jazz, I’m open both to short and long term stuff, but with preference on the latter in the long run.


After the breakup but before starting class, I was excited to date new girls (my major is full of em), but as of late, I haven’t felt a particular desire to pursue anything with them. Hell, I find them less attractive than ever with a rare exception here or there. If anything, I wanna befriend these girls and be their gay bestie, cliche as that sounds. Only now have I become mature enough to appreciate how great platonic female friends can be. Part of me wishes I could be full on gay and keep things simple. Hell, sometimes my same sex attractions are so intense that I feel like end up feeling more gay than bi. And before I know it, I see a beautiful woman somewhere and that’s what reminds me.


I know this seems super abrupt, but does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone find themselves craving the sex that their ex is not, or do your desires stay the same? I think in some ways my last relationship, despite being a great experience, left a bad taste in my mouth with how it ended. I’m not opposed to dating another girl, but right now the desire just isn’t there. When I was younger, I saw meeting the right girl as the main goal with guys being something of a hot indulgence on the way there. Now I feel like they’ve switched. I desire both, but for the first time ever, I feel mostly gay.

 

I really appreciate your response. Honestly, I just needed to vent about what was going on in my mind. I know my identity is valid and I’m incredibly proud of it but I was just feeling overwhelmed by thoughts. Overall, at this moment, I prefer men generally. Like I said, I still find some women very attractive but unless she blows my mind with perfect chemistry, I have little to no interest besides friendship. I’m honestly craving something long term the same sex. I’ve had plenty of sex with men, but nothing more than an FWB situation. I guess it’s just a matter of finding them. Or maybe it’ll just happen when I least expect, I dunno.