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To people who suffer from "HOCD"

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by HAStings12, Aug 12, 2019.

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  1. Blade118

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    So if gay men can get aroused by women in theory wouldn’t it be the same for a straight man getting aroused with a man then. If you do get aroused by women wouldn’t you be bisexual then?
     
  2. Apeiron

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    I have to disagree that HOCD is not a thing. I would rather say internalized homophobia is not a thing.

    What does it actually mean when we say that a person is in denial with his same sex attractions? It means that this person's core values define him as a heterosexual, but he experiences arousal towards his own sex. Being in such state can be very harmful. A solution for this issue offered by majority of therapists in the west is to change core values of this person and make him feel comfortable with his feelings. But why can't it be the other way around? Why can't the person change what he feels so he could be happy with himself holding his current core values?

    It is possible to change what you can feel. There are certain regions in our brain that are responsible for our sexuality. These regions develop mostly during our childhood and puberty based on our life experiences because they are most plastic during these periods. But our brains (including these regions) remain plastic throughout our entire lifes. It means that they can change any time. So even as an adult, a person can form new neural pathways in such a way that the regions responsible for sexuality change, thus making the person lose his same sex attractions and starting to feel more attractions towards the opposite sex. This is what we call sexual fluidity. The only thing that is unclear is what life experiences influence development of certain sexual orientations.

    My final words would be that a person can be who he wants to be and he can define himself by his core values and not his feelings.
     
  3. Blade118

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    Define arousal to the same sex, do I need to go out there and be with a guy for arousal?

    I have never felt arousal while thinking about a man but when you talk about arousal does that mean things happening in the lower regions; is that classed as arousal if not please define it to me.

    Everyday I wake up and think about receiving anal sex, I kiss walls, bend over to imagine the scenario/ role play of anal sex... why is this what is the underlying issue?

    I don’t want to change my core values I just want to be happy. I am with my girlfriend and I get aroused and enjoy sex with her.. I think.

    Certain things that become an issue is when it affects my day, I mean I was out with my dad the other day and his colleague brought his 12 year old son out and my thoughts were about kissing him... please answer that for me
     
  4. Chip

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    Well... all of the credible literature and thousands of therapists who work in the field would disagree with you on both fronts. OCD is a thing, yes. And some people with OCD have a tendency to obsess on one or two intrusive thoughts that repeat. But the diagnosis is OCD, and the underlying issue is the anxiety that drives the obsessive thinking; it has nothing to do with fear of being homosexual, per se; it is the anxiety and intrusiveness of the thoughts themselves that drive the disorder, not the focus on homosexuality.

    As far as saying that internalized homophobia isn't a thing? Um, sorry, but that's extremely well documented in the literature going all the way back to Freud, and by many others since then. It isn't even remotely controversial.

    Actually, it means that the values the individual holds, which are imposed by the society and family-of-origin he grew up in, are incompatible with the core aspects of who he is. Completely different.

    Because it isn't possible to do that. Again, the science on that is quite solid. The best data is the exhaustive study the APA published several years ago looking at every credible study on the subject of changing sexual orientation over the past 60 years; hundreds of studies. The APA's position was pretty unequivocal; it is not possible to change sexual orientation, it is often more harmful to the client to attempt to do so, that many have been harmed by such attempts, that it pretty much never succeeds.

    [quoteIt is possible to change what you can feel.[/quote]
    Yes, one can change cognitive mindstate and emotional state. But it is not possible to change who one is attracted to. This isn't even controversial any more, unless you're looking at psuedoscience promoted by religious quacks.

    There is absolutely no data to support this.

    No, that is a completely different thing, and actually, data supporting that is extremely scant to nonexistent.
     
  5. Chip

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    Apologies for the last poster; he is completely full of shit and there's no basis for anything he said. Please don't let his BS distract you from your own issue, which has nothing to do with same-sex orientation or changeability of sexual orientation.

    Your question has been asked and answered; you need to get therapy and/or medication to get your OCD under control before you can solve your issue. From everything you've said, there's no indication you have same sex attraction, but no amount of telling you that is going to do anything because your OCD is telling you otherwise, and your OCD is in control of your logic centers now.

    Since this issue has been asked and answered a dozen times in this thread, and continues to go in circles, the thread is now closed.
     
    #25 Chip, Aug 31, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2019
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