Hi guys! So I'm a 15 year old male that has very little to no experience with relationships and only ever tried them with girls. For the past months however, I've been having fantasies about kissing boys. I've been having dreams about making out with a boy and have also kind of been daydreaming about it. I've just got that worm feeling when thinking about it. So I think that I might be bisexual or gay. I don't have anybody to talk to, because my entire family is very homophobic. I don't know what to do.
I've also never had anything with a guy before and I don't know how I could meet a boy that feels the same way I feel about him. I kind of really want to get into a relationship but as I already said, I've never had a relationship with a boy, I don't have any experience and I don't know how I could meet people who I could have a romantic relationship with. Has anybody got any tips for me?
Your young, be patient. Sometimes things happen when you least expect it. Don't worry about labels, they mean nothing, just be true to what you feel. You don't have to be out if you don't want to be. Maybe it's better to wait until you have a good support system around you or have the ability to support yourself. As for feeling alone, you will always have someone to talk with now that you found your online family here on EC. I wish I could be more help but its been a LONG time since I was your age. Stick around, I bet the advisors or other young ones will have some ideas! Dean
Thanks, Dean! I guess I'm just gonna have to wait to see what happens and hope for the best. Hopefully things will eventually clear up a little. Feels good to have a place to go to with these struggles.
Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets! Being patient and seeing how things evolve is definitely important in trying to figure things out. Keep continuing to take note of your attractions. Over time, things will become clearer and perhaps also make more sense. You are definitely not alone. Empty Closets is a great resource and place to hang out; writing about your thoughts and attractions, and reading what other members' experiences have been could help in figuring things out further. What might also help is to think about if joining a support group would be something that could help you as well. Depending on where you live in Austria, it is possible that there might be a LGBT youth or young teen group that you could try joining. Sometimes, listening to yourself, while sharing what you are experiencing with others could help in clarifying things as well. Do you live in a larger city?
Yes, I live in the capital. I already tried finding a local lgbt community over the internet, but I didn't really find anything, except for gay bars and restaurants.
It might be a bit harder to find something that fits. I'm wondering, how would you feel about contacting one of the queer youth initiatives in Vienna, and ask if they could help you locate a group that is geared towards your age group?
I don't know if I want that. I mean, I'm kinda shy and I'm not really that good with meeting strangers. Besides that I can only find organisations that plan big events or do workshops for schools. Maybe I should just be patient and stop stressing myself out to much. I'm kinda nervous already.
Ah okay. It is totally fine to take it slow and only do something, or reaching out to someone when you feel comfortable and ready. You don't want things to become overwhelming. If you do come across something that is for youth, and you feel comfortable contacting them, try to go for it. But if you feel it would be better to wait give youtself the time you need.
I think I'm going to take a couple of days to think this through, and if I feel like meeting other people in my situation I will send an Email to an lgbt group. I think I've already found one. I'll take my time and see what it all turns out to be. Thank you for all your advice Mirko, and I'll give you an update in a week or so. Yours, Sam
No problem. Let us know what you decide to do and feel free to keep writing out your thoughts, questions. We are always here for you as well.
