Hi, Im pretty sure I'm a lesbian, I've not had a relationship with a man for a long time and recently can't stop thinking about women. I've constant butterflies in my stomach but don't know how to move forward. Would like to meet women but not sure how. I've only told one person and not really a party person.
Hey CHARLIE15, Welcome to EC! If you are questioning, the following might help you: First of all, take a deep breath and relax. This is about you and yourself, there is no need to rush to any conclusions. Think about your attractions. When thinking about women, do you feel attracted to them? Sexually and romantically? What about men, do you feel attracted to them? When you imagine yourself in a relationship, do you think you could be happy with a man or a woman, or you would be happy with any of them? When you fantasize, do you think about men or women? Again, my greatest advice for you is: stay calm. You don't need to pressure yourself or rush to any conclusions. Take your time. As for meeting someone, there's no magical formula for that, but a good way to meet people is to find groups with activities you enjoy (exercising, book clubs, videogame and anime conventions, etc). You won't necessarily meet someone for a relationship right away, but you would be doing something you enjoy with people who share similar interests, and eventually you may find someone for something more than a friendship. Dating apps and websites work for some people, but they are complicated, to say the least. I have used them more than once and, although I did meet nice people in there, there are many, many people who are just interested in sex, have deep personal issues that need to improve before a healthy relationship might happen or simply that are too different than me. That's why, although I don't condemn apps, I think there are options that might be better, if you have the possibility of finding a group that share common interests or something like that.
You dont have to be a party person. You could see if there are any LGBT meet ups or groups in your area, that would be my first place to look. Try and meet some other LGBT people and even if you just make friends that can lead to meeting friends of friends etc.Would you like to come out to more people?
Hi Charlie15, I’m in the same boat as you. I spent many years thinking I was straight. Now I’m working through this recent revelation and reconciling it to what I thought I knew about myself. I question back and forth. I think a telling sign for me was my reaction to a friend pointing out a random man last night “what about someone like him?” and my response without thought was “NO!”. Then later, the male performer gyrating with some of the ladies in the audience really elicited an “eww” response inside me. But with the drag queen performers I had no such inner response. Like you, I’m also at the point where I think I need to meet other lesbians (not for sex) but to try out my new identity in a group/community and see how it feels. Try it on for size.
Hi Langom Thanks for that, it's taking that first step which, I must be honest make my stomach do belly flips. I know it sounds quite trivial with some of the other posts on here but it's constantly on mind. I do the same "eww" reaction. It's like a light has switched on and I can't switch it off.
The first step is definitely the hardest. I need to find the next local activity and make myself go ....
