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The rollercoaster that was my day

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Vanillaboy, Aug 16, 2019.

  1. Vanillaboy

    Full Member

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    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So a few hours into my day (I'm off from work), I see this profile on this hookup site cute guy, likes bigger men thats great so I message the guy and we get to talking, just talking, I spent hours talking to this guy and I didn't even ask for pics because I'm really getting into HIM. not his body. towards the end I start getting warning signs that lead me to question my safety if we were ever to meetup, small things I can't explain but they just didn't feel right. So I made up an excuse left and then later I blocked him. I didn't want to be tempted to risk anything. I was really crushing on this guy and now he's gone, so now I'm down and depressed and thinking about all my flaws, stuff that even though he liked me he couldn't see.

    I know its not the best to go on hookup sites because of the whole safety and more prevalent STDs, that come from frequent hookups with random guys though some claim they want a relationship. Though its hard for me to meet gay people in real life. I guess the first step is coming out to my parents because I live with them unfortunately (long story) and its already going to be hard enough to meet people as it is without sneaking around. But I am having a hard time with it. Irrational yes, still there no.. I guess I need to get a LGBT therapist to help me process these fears. But it would be a whole lot easier if I could have a real strong motovation like being in a good relationship.
     
  2. Ram90

    Full Member

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    Gay
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    Some people
    I'm glad, so glad you listened to your instincts and didn't meet the guy. Trust me when I say I've been in a few scenarios where I wish I trusted my instincts and conscience, and didn't go ahead with chatting with or meeting some guys. I've had some awful experiences with them.

    Dating apps aren't all that bad. I don't deny that there are dangers - including STDs and safety, but there are genuinely nice people on the apps as well. It is hard for me to meet gay guys in real life as well. So for the most part I do stick to trying to meet people through these apps. I'd suggest patience. It is overrated, I know, but I always tell myself that if 9 guys turn out to be uninteresting, idiotic or just plain crazy, the 10th guy could be a genuinely interesting guy. Hence I stick on and persevere ha ha. :slight_smile:

    Hang in there!
     
  3. HowdyKTX

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I can totally relate. I was having a fantastic thing going via email and Google hangouts with a guy. We were going to meet and were both looking forward to it. I got a couple yellow flags because his Gmail went down for a while — how does THAT happen? — and then was up and he said hi and then was down again. Really weird. Anyway, I figure at the least he’s unreliable and unsafe.