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Is it normal to be super horny shortly after coming out?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Vanillaboy, Aug 11, 2019.

  1. 1cgd

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    As a straight man, the moments after sex were awkward. I didn’t know what to say, how to bask in the afterglow. I often felt this anticlimactic, helpless feeling, and honestly wanted to brush my teeth, shower and get dressed.

    As a gay man, it’s just so natural to be close to my partner, his head in my chest, or mine on his, fingers tousling each other’s hair, spooning, or embracing and often talking for hours afterward to the detriment of sleep, or being late for work like today lol. These conversations sometimes lead to Round 2 on a great night, or to falling asleep on a good night with no thought of putting on clothes or taking a shower, while feeling and tasting each other on our skin and mouths.

    It could be that I love this man so much, or that being with a man is just so right for me, or most likely, both.
     
  2. HowdyKTX

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    As a man with women, I never experienced this. With the very few men I’ve been with, I’d concur this was my experience. Much more organic and flow-y.
     
  3. AndHeCried

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    I think so. It's a total adrenaline rush.
     
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  4. Contented

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    1cgd encapsulates my feelings exactly. In my straight days I was never comfortable after sex, wanted to cover up, get up and leave the bedroom. Sex while I guess was enjoyable it just never seemed exactly right. I never felt connected.
    That all changed as a gay man. It’s seems so natural and easy being with a man sexually. There is nothing forced or faked about the passion,it is real and intense. We too can spend hours in the afterglow without changing mood. I am so comfortable being naked around him, we can make love in any room in the house and it’s all awesome. When he is inside me I cannot imagine anything better on the planet. The erotic sensual nature of being together is sometime far beyond anything I experienced as a “ straight” guy. I feel like I have been let in on the secret to incredible passion and emotion. It’s gay sexuality! I wish I had had the courage to embrace my homosexuality as a teen. I can’t imagine how that would have felt with all the emotion and passion of a teenager. Jealous of the young gay men and boys who are fearless in expressing their gay sexuality and not hiding who they are or who they love.
     
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  5. SevnButton

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    Many years ago in one of those self-actualization seminars, the leader described feeling truth in one's body. I experience that as emotion, like when I realize something important about myself and I say it out loud. There's an awareness in my body and mistyness in my eyes that tell me, "that's the truth". Now occasionally I regress into my conventional, straight persona, but then something happens to remind me of who and what I am. Then I feel this amazing surge of sexual energy through my body and it tells me, "that's right". It's like waking up in a mountain meadow on a beautiful spring day.

    Coming out is an alignment of self with truth that allows the life energy to flow. Shine brightly, brothers and sisters!
     
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  6. HowdyKTX

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    Is it a rush to you because you’ve kept it hidden, or for some other reason?
     
  7. HowdyKTX

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    Maybe you’ve written about this elsewhere — apologies if so — but how did you come out to your wife; what did you say, etc.? I’ve been married over two decades and my wife knows I’m attracted to men (and had sex with a couple prior to our marriage) but she has no idea that this is the dominant part of me for some time now.
     
  8. AndHeCried

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    I think it's because you feel like your life is going to change, you feel powerful, maybe a little afraid as well, but you know whatever happens, you are living your truth.
     
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  9. AndHeCried

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    This is beautiful! Truth as an emotion. I love it.
     
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  10. 1cgd

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    It’s never easy but it might be just a bit easier for you since she knows of your experience with men. No one who knew me had any idea. Anyway, here is a link to my story. Hope it helps you in your journey.
    https://forum.emptyclosets.com/index.php?threads/my-closet-is-empty.477743/#post-6657579
     
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  11. Danabutton

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    I couldn’t agree more. I have been contemplating my own situation for quite a while and while not out, I am coming to terms with my inner self and feel liberated in being able to accept this is a part of who I am and years of denial and repression have finally given way to acceptance with myself....
     
  12. Danabutton

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    Very powerful statement sevenbutton...thank you
     
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  13. Contented

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    Coming out is such an emotional event that it releases a intense sense of liberation that most of us had not felt before. That liberation empowers us with the freedom to explore our gay sexuality which has been buried for so long. The longing to explore and experience our new found sexuality is intoxicating to say the least. Three years into my gay evolution and I am as horny as the start. Not complaining mind you! Like others have said in the past 3 years I have had more sex than in the last 15 years of my straight life.My BF and I can’t keep our hands off each other.
     
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  14. maybgayguy

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    I just want to go on record that this is so incredibly sexy and beautiful. So glad you are in such a good place!
     
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  15. Tightrope

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    I'd say it's normal to be super horny after allowing yourself to act on your sexual wants and needs and aren't in denial that this is what you want to do. The coming out part is optional.
     
  16. Contented

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    Our society is almost puritanical about sex in general whether it be straight or gay. Some how wanting and enjoying sexual relationsfrequently is regarded as abnormal or wrong. Why can’t we just admit that we are sexual being and that sex feels good. Gay or straight or anything in between we should embrace our sexual selves and not worry if we are too horny or not horny enough. Just roll with it. Life is too short.
     
    #36 Contented, Sep 1, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2019