When I first started this fantastic adventure in coming to terms with my homosexuality I considered myself a versatile top. From the beginning I found anal to be the most wonderful and beautiful expression of gay love. As I have evolved as a gay man I have found that more and more I love to bottom. The sense of connection both literally and figuratively is so incredible I love every minute of it. I still occasionally top my BF because he enjoys it but in any other circumstance I could easily become a total bottom. If we were to break up ( hopefully never) I am sure I would become an exclusive bottom. Just wondering if others have found similar experiences.
Interesting dynamic. My evolution has been the opposite of yours. When I first embraced my sexuality, I felt incredible intimacy and connection bottoming. Over time, that connection from bottoming has diminished. Currently, I find more satisfaction being the giving partner but wouldn’t rule out bottoming when warranted. I wouldn’t be surprised if my preferences continue to fluctuate back and forth.
I don't think it's unusual actually. I think a lot of gay guys start out as versatile because they want to experiment with their sexuality and experience intimacy from different perspectives, but eventually discover a preference for topping or bottoming. For some the preference is so strong that they become exclusive tops or bottoms. Over time, I have developed a very definite preference myself.
One of my friends once wrote a post: "My kitchen cabinet of plastic containers is like a microcosm of San Diego. All bottoms and no tops". (Someone corrected him and said "They're called lids, not tops".) He went on to say that it seemed that people would show up to town as tops, and within a year, become bottoms. It seems that this isn't uncommon; I think as people first come out, there's a stigma and fear about bottoming for various reasons, but as people get past the stigma and allow themselves to experience it with an open mind, the experience you are having turns out to be pretty common.
Chip really identifies exactly what happened in my case. As I became more comfortable with my sexuality and more comfortable engaging in gay sexual activity I found myself more and more gravitating to bottoming. I find it so increbily erotic, sensual and intensely pleasurable.Because of that I think I am a better sexual partner for my BF. My preference is certainly becoming stronger and stronger to point I could easier imagine going exclusively a bottom. The connotations of being a bottom don’t bother me in the least. My BF and I are more “femme”gay men anyway so no big deal.
I am a total submissive bottom as it just feels so natural and right to me. I feel an incredible connection with a guy when I offer myself to him and can feel him deep inside me. I can’t explain it but I feel totally connected to my feminine side when I bottom and I love it intensely. An old boyfriend back in the late 90’s literally turned me into a bottom and confirmed in me that this is who I am. He was very well hung and a total top and I just knew I wanted him inside me. When it happened I felt so much joy, pleasure and happiness that I just knew I was gay. It felt so right and natural. I have never ever experienced any feeling like this with a woman or my wife. It has been 4 years since I have been with a man and I miss it so so much. I know I am gay and can no longer live in denial. I want to leave my wife but that is an ongoing saga.
My first experience with a man was as a top. Experience was ok. I knew I was a bottom from the beginning as I used dildos and vibrators for the longest time before actually having sex with men. I now am exclusively a bottom and thoroughly enjoy the sex way more. I feel that I am the feminine half of sex and allowing the guy to be inside me makes it that much more exciting. I also prefer to be the one that gives him oral and I really enjoy watching his face and seeing that he is enjoying what I am doing.
I couldn’t agree more. I feel exactly the same. It is an absolute thrill for me to pleasure my BF. When he is inside me I feel so complete, so happy, so emotionally connect, so feminine I love it.
I’m bi and have never had anal. (I have hemorrhoids so...not sure it’d be all that fun.) But I love pleasuring a man with oral. It is so intimate and, knowing how good it feels on me makes me want to make sure he feels really good.
I'm not sexually active, but when I started thinking I was bisexual, I was only interested in oral sex with a guy. When I started coming around to the idea of anal sex, I was initially a top person. Lately, I see myself as more of a bottom person, possibly caused by more gender dysphoria occurring and thinking of myself as a woman.
I’m confused: are you not currently sexually active but have been in past, and therefore know what you prefer?
Ah. I’d fantasized for a long time as a straight guy. My first time with another man was awful in many ways. I was freaked out and cried. Couldn’t handle the implications. But the next two times with guys were awesome. Very freeing. (Still am not interested in anal, even if I didn’t have hemorrhoids!)
