So hey, um, ive been out as lesbian since i was 16 in highschool. Im 20 now. Ive had relations with men before, over 10 different individuals, of different ages from 14-20 something, And every time I have ever been with a guy it has never been even remotely good. Which I think lead me to believe that I was a lesbian. I have fallen in love with women Kaaba never man. And I never really fantasize about being with men until I was probably 18. But now im 20, in the best relationship of my life, and dating the most amazing accepting woman i could ever ask for. But we both find ourselves fantasizing about men. Shes the only one i can tell. Everyone knows me as the lesbian for years now. Im scared to tell people, i didnt want to prove anybody right. I feel like a deep deep shame about it and i dont know how or when i can come out. Everyone is going to say i told you so, and there still a part of me that feels grossed out at myself for feeling this way. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any steps to take to like,,, idk self acceptance?
How long have you been fantasising about men? I know it's difficult but whilst you figure things out it's best to try and not think about other people's reactions. Your relationship with your girlfriend are there any issues in the relationship? Did anything happen before the fantasys started?
And that is just the most infuriating thing, right? Practically everyone who posts here has had this feeling about their situation, at one point or another. Things to think about: well actually a lot of people didn't tell you so, and will be understanding. And also, even if they did, your situation is not as oversimplified as they said. That's pretty understandable too. Lucky that your partner is accepting. Note that fantasies are sometimes things that just turn us on, that we wouldn't do, or might try rarely. It's a good sign that you see what your goal is -- self-acceptance that is. That gets you half the way there. P.S.: Somehow your dilemma reminds me of vegetarians fantasizing about hamburgers. I don't want to minimize your situation but still I had to smile.
