This thread is from 7 years ago but... when I thought I was bi and told girls they didn't think it was a bad thing. Actually it turned them on more for some reason. I think it made me more exotic and exciting to them or something. Then again those were all hookups not relationships.
Hey! As a bisexual girl I’m pretty open with people who I’ve dated in the past. I reference my previous girlfriends and boyfriends. I think for a girl it can be easier to talk about bisexuality (WHICH IS WRONG) because straight guys usually find it hot.... I think it helps me weed out the idiots as well, if they aren’t cool about it then they aren’t right for me... #BisexualityIsReal
I stumbled across Empty Closets and specifically this thread while googling about when/if to tell a woman I am dating that I am bisexual. I am thrilled to have found the site and somewhat discouraged by the contents of the thread itself. I am a bisexual man, 63 years old. I have been bisexual all my life and have had serious and not serious relationships with both men and women. I was married to a woman for many years. We have been separated, permanently, for almost 10 years now. The separation had nothing to do with my sexuality. I have never cheated on a partner of mine. I am perfectly capable and happy to be only with the person I am in a relationship with. In this thread I see the old, "there are no bi men, they are just closeted gays" platitude, which is an insult of the first order, unfortunately so often, and so much more hurtfully, spouted by our gay brothers and lesbian sisters. I also see that bisexuality and polyamory are also, as is so often done, tied together as one. I have nothing against polyamory, but bisexual does not equal polyamorous. No other sexual orientation is so assumed, by definition, to be unable to be monogamous. This is why it is so hard to be out and bisexual in this world. And why someone like me should have to question whether to tell the woman I have just started dating that I am bisexual. Something that should have no more import than whether i like chocolate or vanilla or both, becomes an issue that defines my whole persona. I am no more or less likely to stray from our relationship than if I were straight or gay, but unfair biases make this into a huge issue. It makes me so sad and has left me more bewildered as to the original question than ever. nyc1956
LGBT acceptance has moved forward, but I still think many straight girls would be uncomfortable with the idea. Its a catch 22: because of biphobia, many bisexual guys stay in the closet, which feeds into the idea that they don't exist. So, my heart says "its only right to be upfront" but know that would make things a LOT more difficult and besides, most people either don't believe you or think it means something else entirely.
I know you had one type of experience but others are different. I am in love with my boyfriend but I I recognize I also am attracted to girls and can see myself dating one, just as much as I can see myself dating guys. Yes I am Bi, no I am not lesbian
