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Penis Size and Men and Idealized bodies!?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by r2de2baca, Jul 8, 2019.

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  1. NotTooLoud

    NotTooLoud
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    All I'm looking for is kiss. That's as far as I'm ready to go right now!
     
    #21 NotTooLoud, Jul 15, 2019
  2. Nickw

    Nickw
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    So. My FWB is a lot younger. One of the things I've been doing is teaching him how to get in shape. It's been a couple months of pretty intensive physical activity following me around and he is looking really good. He is starting to get really noticed now.

    But, it isn't about how he looks to others. It's how he feels about himself. He's changed so much...and for the better. That's what the guys are noticing. The confidence he is beginning to express is, in a word, transformative.

    Both my wife and I make remarks about his new body and how he is such a hot commodity. He tells me he won't spend his life by trying to be something for some else. Too much about growing up gay and failing at that. He does this for himself and that's it.

    Advise to live by.
     
    #22 Nickw, Jul 15, 2019
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  3. NotTooLoud

    NotTooLoud
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    Dude! Your wife is cool with you having a boyfriend? Is your wife a woman? Do you have an understanding or does s/he know? Man, you have it all!
     
    #23 NotTooLoud, Jul 16, 2019
  4. Nickw

    Nickw
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    Yes she knows and she likes him. Menopause killed her sex drive...really killed it. And, this works for us...most of the time.

    Sometimes I just wish things were like they were twenty years ago with my wife even though I care deeply for my boyfriend.

    He's my best friend and that friendship includes intimacy. It does feel pretty right.
     
    #24 Nickw, Jul 16, 2019
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  5. TrevinMichael

    TrevinMichael
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    size is not important at all zero percent
    for me

    love and compassion, caring, this is what i like in a person.

    I have never not cared about someone I loved due to size of their penis male wise that is.
     
    #25 TrevinMichael, Jul 16, 2019
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  6. NotTooLoud

    NotTooLoud
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    What if its really big though? And he wants to top you.
     
    #26 NotTooLoud, Jul 17, 2019
  7. TrevinMichael

    TrevinMichael
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    that would be scary but if so I am sure my body would be okay with it

    unless he is a horse or something plus if the person loves you they will not hurt you and go slow

    by the way some men are not a top or a bottom. We should not assume that.
     
    #27 TrevinMichael, Jul 17, 2019
  8. r2de2baca

    r2de2baca
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    Ok thats cute and all but when you are regularly asked for penis pics or how big are you etc etc etc these "I love him for his confidence" remarks seems trite and unrealistic.
     
    #28 r2de2baca, Jul 21, 2019
  9. r2de2baca

    r2de2baca
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    o
    ok where?
     
    #29 r2de2baca, Jul 21, 2019
  10. r2de2baca

    r2de2baca
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    You want have any issues. All the guy I have met are literally obsessed with a big thick penis. I really think it has something to do with gay men and masculinity insecurity. Not for all of course but so many gay men I have met have associated a guys "maleness" and value based on whats in between his legs. For instance when they want to insult or emasculate the guy I have commonly heard them say things like "oh with his little d!ck self, oh trust me he doesnt need a magnum, um his d!ck is too little, how does he think he can be a top when I am bigger than me?, etc etc etc. Is like you can be on crack but if you have a nice body and a huge penis you'll still get a line to ride your penis rollercoaster. smh
     
    #30 r2de2baca, Jul 21, 2019
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  11. r2de2baca

    r2de2baca
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    I am like that but I realized that when I didnt want to take the kiss into sucking someone's d!ck or having mine sucked on the first or second date, I was always cut off or ghosted on. Sorry to be negative but the lovey dovet boy meets boy and develop a bromance before a sexual reltionship... well that is a fantasy for the most part these days. You either screw or get ghosted on.
     
    #31 r2de2baca, Jul 21, 2019
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  12. r2de2baca

    r2de2baca
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    I really agree with you. The whole "I am getting in shape to be healthy." is a joke. sure that is a benefit of it but how many times do you meet a guy with a hot body that is the humble guy that wants to take things slow and meet mr right. almost never. I think they know body is important in gay world if you want to attract atteactive men, so its their way to advertise their worth imo.
     
    #32 r2de2baca, Jul 21, 2019
  13. Nickw

    Nickw
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    Hey

    So. I've read your last several posts. It seems to me that you are having some terrible experiences with meeting gay men. I can't comment on your particular situation because I don't know anything about where you live and all.

    I will just say this. I'm a middle aged man who is married to a woman. My wife is OK with me fooling around some. My experience is a lot different than yours. Sure, some guys just want sex. But, most that I've met are looking for friendship and maybe more.

    I've been with about 10 guys in 2 years. I don't do intercourse unless it's a FWB situation. Pretty much every guy but one still chat with me and I consider them friends. I don't get pressured.

    Maybe I live in an area where guys are more friendly...it is a small town...so the apps may be different.

    But, have you tried non app resources? Gay skiing or hiking groups? Pride events? How about the local LGBT center? Some of these have group get togethers.

    There are idiots in all groups of people. But, I don't think it's good to lump everyone into a behavior pattern. Sometimes you will find what you expect to find. A positive attitude can yield positive results.
     
    #33 Nickw, Jul 22, 2019
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  14. r2de2baca

    r2de2baca
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    Thats great you have had great experiences. They are yours. Inam not generalizing anyone. I am only speaking from my experience. Take it or leave it. If it does not apply to you, great. If it does, great. It is important for people to hear all sides of the story. Continue to share yours. I will comtinue to share mine.
     
    #34 r2de2baca, Jul 22, 2019
  15. Nickw

    Nickw
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    I apologize. I didn't mean to make it sound that way. But, re reading my post, I guess it did.

    After reading your other post on racism, I can see where you are coming from.
     
    #35 Nickw, Jul 22, 2019
  16. r2de2baca

    r2de2baca
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    Its no biggie. There are good people in every group and some sucky ones as well. Given the sheer smaller number of gays that are out or exist and given all the trauma, internalized and external hatred, in-fighting, and other issues that inpact gay men (insert Velvet Rage) you just tend to have greater odds of stumbling across other people with unaddressed issues in my opinion. It is what it is. I just try and focus in the good people but I would be lying if Insaid the bad ones havent made me question what was so great about coming out.
     
    #36 r2de2baca, Jul 22, 2019
  17. r2de2baca

    r2de2baca
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    For example. Just met a professional guy this weekend. Seemed like he had his stuff together. But of course was too good to be true...drug user and not talking about weed. It just never fails. I give up.
     
    #37 r2de2baca, Jul 22, 2019
  18. NotTooLoud

    NotTooLoud
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    Wow, I'm just not sure I'm ready for more right now. Maybe mutual masturbation or something, IDK. I guess I will see how things go when I actually get a date, and hope for the best.
     
    #38 NotTooLoud, Jul 22, 2019
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  19. Stig500

    Stig500
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    I think that sometimes, we just have to accept that everyone has flaws, and we can either accept them as they are, or just say ok, you're not for me. I tend not to like hanging with drug users as they usually try to pressure you into using too (in my experience, not saying they all do) but if I met someone I really liked, I'd probably try to look past that and see if there was something there, especially if I really fancied him.
     
    #39 Stig500, Jul 22, 2019
  20. r2de2baca

    r2de2baca
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    Noone is perfect but using drugs is a non negoitable for me.
     
    #40 r2de2baca, Jul 23, 2019
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