Hi folks, I'm new here, just joined 2 days ago. I briefly introduced myself over on the welcome page, but since I'm over 30, I figured the full story belongs in here. I'm 37, married to an awesome man for 10 years, and just told him I'm bi. I've known for 3 years now, since an insane earth-shattering crush finally made me see. For better or worse, I never saw that fine lady again so never got to test it out. But I knew right away I would have overturned my entire life for her had she felt the same... so then I knew. And was like, DUH! Should have realized many years ago. But the 90's, my teen decade, was not so queer friendly as today. And I just didn't see myself that way, probably because boys were so damn distracting and I liked them plenty. Just wish i could have dated women before now. And now? Been experiencing plenty random thoughts and crushes these last 3 years... but after coming out to my best (kinda only, though that sounds sad) friend 2 months ago, all those thoughts increased a LOT and I knew I had to tell my husband. Not sure what is causing my madly increased sex drive towards women, but it impacts my life a lot... can't pay attention at work type of thing! Not sure if it's just hormonal or what. When I told my dear friend though, she was... a lot more interested than I expected! In fact, she started crushing on me, which started me crushing on her. I always loved her dearly but not like THAT... until now. We are both married with no intention of leaving our husbands. Our kids are practically like siblings since they were babies, we're that close. I feel like the relationship has potential to be a great "icing on the cake" girlfriend love thing for both of us, if we wanted it. NOW: not sure if/when my sweet husband will feel ok about me dating women... but she isn't willing to broach the subject with hers. And I'm not trying to break up her marriage or get her to cheat. And, not even sure it would be a good idea anyway, as it would be horrible should things go awry since she is my best friend and we support each other through everything. For now I have told her to quit teasing me. But it's so, so hard to keep my hands to myself when it feels SO NATURAL to grab her hand or play with her hair. And SO HARD to keep these feelings to myself, even though I know I should look elsewhere for women to crush on. Thoughts? Any bi people out there who also feel monogamy is impossible, because you constantly want both??! Thanks, if you were patient enough to read all this!
I hear you. I am currently married to a wonderful man but came to the realization that I have been in love with my college best friend since, well, college. I am 40. I don't know what to do. She is married to a woman and has two kids. She has been in love with me for decades, even asking me to move with her many years ago but I was not in that same space. I didn't know. Nor do I know what to do now. My life is perfectly great on the outside but I am tormented knowing my extreme love for her and the life we could have together. But kids. And established lives. Not to mention we live no where close. It's the worst feeling. Only two people know. I just don't know what to do. So I hear you. These things aren't easy. I am happy to have heard your story. Thank you for sharing. Listen to you heart and listen to your gut. At the end of the day it is your life.
