Hi, This is my first time here and I am trying to figure out whether I am bisexual or not. I have been trying to figure this out for a long time. The way I would describe it is that, if I find a guy sexually attractive, I will generally know it the first time that I see him (I am a woman btw). However, whilst I have been sexually active with men, I cannot honestly say that I have ever enjoyed it or felt comfortable with them. I always feel like there is something off about it. There have also been a couple of women in my life who I have developed feelings for. I have only ever developed feelings for them once I've got to know them a bit. I guess my question is whether I would have to feel that initial 'straight-away' attraction like I do with men for it to be counted as bisexuality? I have also never met anyone who feels this same way and I wondered if it is a fairly common thing or if it isn't common at all? Thanks for your help
I think it's pretty much up to you how you choose to see your sexual orientation. Personally I don't think I've ever really had that kind of 'straight away' reaction, so I guess my view might not help a whole lot but I think if you're interested in girls then you can consider yourself bi.
Hi there! I can relate to your post a lot! For myself, I have, just like you, found it relatively easy to identify which men I find attractive and feel sexual attraction to guys but so far it was never much more than that, while most women I have felt attracted to where friends I knew for some time, got to spend quite some time with, and then felt attracted to their personality. While I also still haven’t figured myself out yet I think your difference in attraction to men and women can possibly be explained by societal conditioning. It is common to be asked from quite a young age to tell who of the other sex we find attractive. We can be oblivious to same sex attraction until we acknowledge it but this can take more time. Also I’ve been told it is very normal to only feel attraction after you have gotten to know someone. I don’t think it is rare for bisexuals to experience attraction to men and women differently, at least I have seen people on here describe that it feels different to them, e.g. an instant attraction to members of one sex and a slower but stronger attraction to the other. Also you don’t have to feel attracted to men and women to the same degree, you can be somewhere on the spectrum between straight and gay. You mentioned that something felt off when you were intimate with guys. Questions you can ask yourself are whether this could have been because there was no emotional connection? Have you felt romantically attracted to men in the past? Who do you see yourself in a committed relationship with? Would you miss something when being with a guy? What about women? Hope this makes you feel less alone, figuring yourself out can definitely be very confusing
I came to the realization that I was Pansexual not Bi. Only cuz I was looking for love the whole time not sexual attraction to someone. It is very difficult to know what to think sometimes and we get confused. Follow your heart and worry less what you call yourself and be yourself. Spend time with people you love and then see what may happen. Focus on love not sex. Sex will happen when it does.
This was really interesting and helpful to read. Really nice to know that I am not alone in feeling this way as well
Hi I guess I’m in the same situation!! I’m still debating. As long as I can remember I assumed & come to know that I like guys, I get this “feeling” for certains of them. (But not really being... satisfied in bed with them) But I came to learn that I kinda like women breast about ~6years ago, but didn’t found any girl that I was actually interested in. Up until 2 years ago, I found being jealous of my best friend (female). She’s still in Canada while I’m in California for school. Since I’m not there to spend time with her & I see pictures of her with other people, I feel that I should be the one with her. I wish I could spend more time with her. & I had some small though about her too.
