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Worried less about homophobes and more about people thinking I look ugly.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by LaurenSkye, Jul 18, 2019.

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  1. LaurenSkye

    LaurenSkye
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    I recently started wearing a skirt in public for the first time, and while I've been getting a few more odd looks, and even some laughs, for the most part everything has gone good and I've even received a few compliments. But, is it weird that from the get go, I've been less worried about homophobic/trans-phobic people who think a man shouldn't be wearing a skirt/dress and more about people who respect my decision, but think I look ugly in it, even if they just don't like the specific skirt I am wearing at the time. I've not had the problem in the past week and a half I've been wearing the skirt, but that's something people would more likely keep to themselves. Is it weird that I think this way?
     
    #1 LaurenSkye, Jul 18, 2019
  2. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    To me, not only you are doing fine because you started doing something you like, but you also got some compliments, so it seems you are doing great!

    I think appearance and clothes are, for the most part, a matter of taste and personal opinion. Some people will look at us and think we are looking great. Some will not like our appearance. But that's fine. It's impossible to please everyone. The most important thing is for you to be comfortable with yourself. And, if you are getting some compliments, that's even better! :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Chiroptera, Jul 18, 2019
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  3. VeetotheX

    VeetotheX
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    I've been wearing feminine clothes in public for a couple years now, and I honestly feel like it gets easier as you go along. The first few times I was constantly thinking about how people see me, or if they think I'm ugly. That feeling is definitely still there, but it's much much less. My suggestion is to keep doing it, and try and take those compliments to heart more than the hypothetical thoughts of other people.
     
    #3 VeetotheX, Jul 19, 2019
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  4. TwoFeech

    TwoFeech
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    Many cis females also worry that other women are quietly judging how they look in their clothes. And other women *are* judging. Many of them spend time criticizing their own and others' clothes, to each other, and behind others' backs. It's a common form of bonding through vicious gossip combined with insecurity. So it's not weird that you think that way. It is the female clothing experience.

    But you can enjoy the compliments!

    (Edited to add: I just realized my last sentence there might sound sarcastic. It's not. I mean, when you get compliments, they are genuine. You would be able to tell if someone were paying you a backhanded compliment. And if someone compliments you, others are also thinking you look good, and are too shy to say it to your face at the moment.)
     
    #4 TwoFeech, Jul 19, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2019
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