Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but your subjects plot to overthrow you and establish a communist regime. You can never leave the castle because it's not safe outside. Anyway, in the end the revolutionaries set the castle on fire and you die burnt alive.

I wish I could reincarnate as a magician in Harry Potter's world.

 

Congrats, you're Umbridge. A guarantee you'll never be happy, even when you're evil.

I wish I wish, I was a fish.

 

Granted, you're a fish / fried as the second dish / served at the feast / for my bachelor degree / which is what I wish.

(I wish I had already my bachelor degree)

 

Congrats, you have a bachelor's degree in underwater basket weaving.

(sees you're from Italy, where my Nana came from)
I do still wish she came back from the dead, and served spaghetti just one last time.

 

Granted, but you have to eat a giant dish of spaghetti, till the last spaghetto, or you'll be cursed. If you get cursed, only a kiss of true love or a punch of true hate can save you. Either you found true love, or you have to receive a punch from someone who really hates you.

I wish I didn't have issues with memory and concentration, doh! >.<

 

You now have perfect memory. You can't forget anything, ever, no matter how unpleasant, embarrassing, or awkward.

I wish I ran a unicorn farm on top of a beautiful mountain somewhere.

 

Your Unicorns will try to escape at every opportunity.

I wish I could go to the beach

 

Granted, but once you step on the sand, a force field will prevent you from being able to leave. Ever.

I wish I had a flannel shirt.

 

Granted but it’s all you can wear for the rest of your life.

I wish I had a cat

 

Granted, but the cat is permanently attached to your back, and screams whenever it is being touched.

I wish I had a shred of dignity.

 

You where granted dignity, but only a literal shred of it. You are still one of the people with the least dignity on the planet.

I wish I was healthy.

 

Granted but if you don’t maintain a healthy lifestyle you’ll be unable to gain muscle or burn fat

I wish I mosquitos wouldn’t come at me

 

Granted, but wasps will come at you now instead.

I wish my allergies would be gone.

 

Granted but it's only for five mins then they come back

Wish I could read minds

 

Granted, but you can only do so while being butt-naked and making eye contact.

I wish people would stop listening to fake news and would be better and have the actual tools to judge better what is or isn't fake news or biased.

 

Granted, but now there is no more entertainment, just realistic depressing news 24/7.

I wish there was a decent LGBT group in my area.

 

Granted, but it only holds meetings at times you're unavailable,.

I wish for a tree in my garden.

 

Granted, but with the arrival of a new tree comes a pack of rabid squirrels

I wish I had a peanut butter cookie

 

Granted, but it also contains an entire ground up ghost pepper.

I wish it wasn't so horribly hot during summer.

 

Granted, but now without the extra heat during the summer time the oceans have frozen over causing the next ice age

I wish I had the ability to cope with any situation