Feeling old, lonely and like my life is basically over

Hi steve65
Welcome to ec you will find people to chat with on here and we know were your coming from we have all had some sort of issues to deal with it is good to talk to people that helps . This site helped me I am also 54 but not retiring next year I have not been on here for a while for reasons to do with me but I'll be on and off and try and get back to you if you need a chat but there is plenty people on this site that will chat with you . So chin up and nice to say hello

 

That's ok and will do

 

Welcome to EC!

I also let all my old friends fall away, and I regret that.

I have found some MeetUp listings to be of interest. Something to do, and meet people. Maybe there are possibilities where you live through that app/site?

Or tour groups?

 

Hi Steve65,
You can chat with people here including me. I am Indonesian in Indonesia and you can ask everything you want to know.
Regards

 

Would be great to talk to you..bit younger than yourself but can relate to a fair bit of what you write.

 

I think there are restrictions in place and i don’t think they even allow e-mail exchange.

 

Once you become a full member, you can exchange private messages. There's a lot of effort toward keeping this site respectful and supportive, and to keep it from being a hookup site. The restrictions are listed when you log in.

Welcome! I think you'll find Empty Closets to be really helpful, with a lot of kind, supportive people who understand.

I'm 60 years old, living the straight man, suburban family lifestyle, and acknowledging (finally) that I'm not straight. I look forward to reading your posts!

=Sevn

 

Hi

It is not uncommon for men of our age to be lonely regardless of sexuality. Men need to have other men around to bond with and communicate with.

This might seem like an odd thing to recommend on a gay related website. But, have you tried engaging straight men your age for friendship and outings? Not in a sexual way of course. But, just a friend?

Maybe look for a meetup group (gay or otherwise) to do something you enjoy. In my area we have gay hiking groups and we have younger (non sexuality related) retiree groups that do sightseeing or cultural travels. There is also a biking group for middle age men. Most of those guys are pretty liberal and don't care if you are gay or straight. In my college town there are also night school classes in things like Archeology and Social Sciences. Its a great way to meet other educated folks.

Even though I'm a married to a woman bisexual, I still have felt very lonely at times. We older men tend to lose track of old friends and we have a hard time filling that void. Maybe look up some old friends to just say high and have a beer? I've done that lately and it has been really great and I feel so much better.

You are not "old". I've got 6 years on you. At your age I learned to kitesurf and now travel several months out of the year to do that. I've met so many new friends in the last half decade. I've stayed in shape and work at it. Exercise in itself can really do a lot for feeling better about yourself. So, if you don't exercise, take up an exercise program. Old can be just a number when you treat it that way.

 

Hi Steve,

I will be 54 soon. I just separated from my wife (a woman) in February and I, too, am dealing with some stuff. Actually though, for most of my life I was blamed for things and made to believe they were my fault ("gaslighted"). Then, through more recent counseling, realized (eventually) they were not. So, I don't have self-loathing anymore. I mostly blame others for BS they pulled on me and even convinced me to believe. What a crock of crap that gay people our age have been put through! It sounds like you could use a good counselor.

I, too, live in a university town and there are lots of young people around, but it is a progressive place with a modern vibe and many open-minded, and open-hearted people. I have also found a very welcoming community at the local Unitarian church.

Do you have children?

-RJ

 

Hi Steve,

I retired at 55, and I was incredibly lonely because my partner had died 3 years earlier. I had no real friends at all , I was desperately unhappy, but I decided (before I retired) to do some travelling, which I did, by myself . I had to “force” myself to go through with it, but I soon got into the swing of things and enjoyed my trips. It’s not the same by yourself, but in the positive side you don’t have to fit in with anyone’s likes or dislikes either. My photography skills improved!

I joined a meditation group which helped with my anxieties and I eventually volunteered for the group , to help out at classes . I made friends at these groups too.

I also found a couple of friends online , via a gay social networking website which doesn’t exist now.

Eventually I met my new partner who I’m now very settled with . It wasn’t easy along the way, but I’m now in a place I never thought I’d be , not ever again . It’s taken nearly 8 years to get where I am today , but I’ve bounced back , and I’m sure with willpower you can do it.

I even managed to try out some apps and had a few brilliant no expectations hook ups along the way , when I was single , of course!

I wish you much happiness Steve, hang in there. I’m not saying it’s easy, but you can do it!

 

Old, lonely, and like my life was nearly over..... that’s how I felt when my first partner died . I had literally no one . But I’ve turned myself around and reinvented my life .
I wish I could message you but can’t find how. Take care Steve , and feel free to get in touch if you wish .

 

I live in England , and the first trip I booked was a few days in Budapest , Hungary, I’d always wanted to go . I told no one , in case I chickened out !
But I went , and enjoyed . Eating alone was something I dreaded , but I did it , and I found people to be friendly but respectful. I soon got used to it.
I went on further solo trips, even taking 3 weeks to visit Thailand, Cambodia and Singapore .... boy was I pleased with myself on returning from that trip !
There are some companies who run small group tours , often there are solo travellers
In the group . I did one , to India , and enjoyed it, but I prefer to plan my own trips and spend as long as I want to in each place.

 

Sorry for writing yet again, I meant to say that, like yourself, I’m not stereotypically gay, and I’m not keen to define myself by my sexuality . I just happen to be a guy who likes other guys . I’m also very shy and quiet by nature , not a social animal by any means. I’m just throwing this in , just to let you know things can go right for people like me and you !