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Should I tell my doctor I am gay?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by ready2bout, Jul 11, 2019.

  1. ready2bout

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    I have looked on line to get answers to this question but get mixed results. I really want to tell my doctor I am gay. My fear is that he will put it in my chart/file and my daughter who is a nurse could access it and see. I have not come out to my children yet even though I am really ready too. Any thoughts?
     
  2. Destin

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    He won't explicitly write "patient is gay" in the chart, but it's somewhat common to add something about being in a higher risk group for STD's due to anal sex being the highest risk form of sex.

    The only way your daughter could see it would be if she works directly with that doctor and helps with the paperwork for your visits. Other than that, nurses are the same as anyone else when it comes to HIPAA rights and can't access any of your medical records without your authorization.
     
  3. Unsure77

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    Does your daughter typically randomly check your medical records? It’s probably good for your doctor to have that context if they’re supposed to be helping you monitor your health.
     
  4. brainwashed

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    You can ask your doctor not to put information in the chart. Two days ago I told my doctor I consider myself gay and told her there are issues I am working through. I told her the issues were related to child/young adult abuse.

    Another consideration is, if you get in an accident and there is a lawsuit your medical records will/may be reviewed. If this happens, your medical records get reviewed by lots of people. It sucks. I got rear ended by a driver who could not keep his eyes on the road and all of my medical records were put out there for all to see. Since I don't care anymore if people know I'm gay I didn't care from that stand point. But I did feel "VIOLATED" because personal information was put out for all to read. (FYI, I won the lawsuit.)
     
    #4 brainwashed, Jul 11, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2019
  5. 1cgd

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    Other than getting some confidential testing together when the bf & I went exclusive, I have not had a full physical since starting to have M2M sex, but I do plan to tell my doc I’m gay at the next one.
     
  6. Tightrope

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    Please clarify. Medical records are not public records except in very specific circumstances. Does your daughter, the nurse, work at this doctor's office or in the network or system this doctor works in? Why would she be looking at your medical records?

    I don't have an answer. It's up to you, assuming you know your risk profile based on what you do or plan to do. Different sexual activity carries different levels of risk.

    Divorced or unmarried people with kids would almost have to inform a doctor of their sexuality. For unmarried and unattached people, doctors probably assume their patients' sexuality as the years go by. Most doctors don't ask. I've only had one that did and he came across as a nosy nerd. My suggestion is that you really familiarize yourself with safe and safer sex and decide after doing some research. But please do your research quickly.
     
  7. justaguyinsf

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    If you keep yourself educated about the health issues associated with M2M sex then I'm not sure why it's necessary to tell your doctor that you're gay. You can always politely decline to tell him or her if they ask.
     
  8. Chip

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    Your daughter should really have no business looking at your medical records unless you have given express permission. HIPAA and relevant CFRs provide strong protections for viewing of medical records, and unless you have granted your daughter the right to view your records, or your daughter is actively involved in providing care (which is likely another ethical problem), she should not under any circumstances see your records. If she does, without one of those two criteria being the case, then there are enormous fines and she could be fired.

    All of this does not ensure that she doesn't snoop anyway.

    So... telling your doctor is important, but asking him not to chart it would be appropriate. That said, you'll have to remind him as he may not remember from one visit to the next if it isn't a relevant piece of your medical history.
     
  9. DecentOne

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    When I told my new doctor I was bisexual, I was suddenly eligible for a small number of vaccines. Even though I’m not active. Getting vaccines ahead of time is of course when they are most useful. So yes, it might matter to say it out loud to your doctor.
     
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  10. Tightrope

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    You can just ask for them. I think you might be referring to Hepatitis A and B and maybe the HPV vaccine. They want people to get the Hepatitis B vaccine and my insurance covered it. As for the A vaccine, each shot cost me some money but it wasn't really, really steep. In reality, it's A that's easier to get from any kind of unsanitary conditions, including food handling. I think the HPV vaccine is also routinely given to young people. I suppose an adult can get the vaccine, too. They say that about half of all adults carry inactive HPV that they got somewhere along the way because it's transmitted by skin to skin contact.
     
  11. Nickw

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    I just told my doctor I was at increased risk for HIV and other STDs and suggested testing.

    She didn't care and ordered the testing. Docs these days don't connect to patients like they used to.

    If a physician changes the level of care based on their morals...get a different provider.
     
    #11 Nickw, Jul 11, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2019
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  12. Dionysios

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    My doctor was the second one I came out to. He told me to come back when I became sexually active. After I met my boyfriend I went back and am now on a series of shots for hepatitis A & B. He also ordered blood tests and created a baseline for me and will consider Prep if I decide to go that route.

    I feel it's important to have the most up to date medical advice. My doctor is supportive. If not, I would find another physician.
     
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  13. Tightrope

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    I'm switching doctors. I like a more down to earth and slightly bookish doctor who gives me information, probabilities, and good rules of thumb. My current doctor is competent but I don't like his smart ass attitude and occasional eye rolls. I've had assertive doctors who want to establish that they are the boss but I've never had a smart aleck and especially eye rolls. I think he feels that the way he relates to me is to my liking. It isn't. I knew this was coming about a year ago. As for my therapist, I am content. We don't see eye to eye on many current events and that makes us a fair bit different from each other, but we've also aired that out during a session.
     
  14. OGS

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    I can't imagine a "good" rationale for a doctor to roll their eyes at a patient. You should definitely get a new doctor. As far as the original question, my doctors have known for at least 20 years. Although, to be fair in the last 12 years I've only had 2 doctors (one retired) and both of them were gay so there's that..
     
  15. Contented

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    When I moved and changed doctors I found a gay internist so telling him I was gay was no big deal. I like the fact that he is gay as he is up to speed on medical issues and developments effecting me as a gay man. I done similarly with my dentist and my counselor is a 100% life long gay man. I find it so much easier and reassuring being surrounded by gay professionals.