Adding a few more "elements" to understanding my mom.

While driving around listening to Ani DiFranco with my mother-in-law beside me in the car, driving past rainbow flag and crosswalk after rainbow flag and crosswalk (I live in a very gay town) my mother-in-law, who grew up in the same time period as your mother asked, “is she singing about being with a woman? I hate that. It really bothers me.” So I said. “Well, it doesn’t bother me! I have lots of female friends that have been with women and I fucking LOVE Ani,” to which she replied, “ oh well different generations.” But my grandmother, who is 89, always welcomed everyone into her home. The question was never about your orientation or skin color or gender. It was always about whether or not you’re a well intentioned and hardworking person who will not make her regret letting you into her home. I get societal pressures and all that, but I’m of the camp that, just like love is love, hate is hate. If you can’t look beyond the messages you’re being fed by a very sick society, that says something about your character. Period. Sorry my answer isn’t more comforting. I’m cynical.