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Anyone else her with a fundamentalist background?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Symphylan, Jun 29, 2019.

  1. Symphylan

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    I have a lot of issues with the conservative religious group I was raised in but it is pretty new to think that maybe my discomfort with gender was a part of it. I always thought I was an outsider because I was socially inept, traumatized, and opposed to the religious beliefs. It is really weird that there might have been this whole extra layer to it I had never even thought about.

    Does anyone else have personal experiences they would be willing to share? I am floundering here.
     
  2. Hamiltan

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    Here there, I'm an ex- Jehovah's Witness who is willing to talk. So far, you sound a lot like me. I too was an outsider and did not fit into the group at all. What do you think the extra layer could be? Also, do you think that it is related to the group's misogynistic viewpoint of those who are female born?
     
  3. Symphylan

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    Hi!

    Thanks for responding. Yeah, I always really hated the misogyny and I guess I had lumped all of my discomfort into the unhealthy gender expectations and never really let myself acknowledge that on top of that I don't really fit into a gender box even if it is a healthier one without misogyny.

    Was leaving difficult for you? I have really struggled with being able to know myself as an adult and to get my thought processes more healthy.
     
  4. OGS

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    I was raised Mormon, wouldn't necessarily use the term "fundamentalist" but my family was very religious and it was quite difficult for them when I came out.
     
  5. Mysteria

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    I'm a little bit different then I think what you're looking for, but I spent most of my life, by choice, as a fundamentalist Christian/Catholic. Even when I questioned things I stayed for a long time.. I wasn't raised in it, but I chose it at a fairly young age, and aside from a year and a half at one point, and of course now, that is what I've been.
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    Fundamentalist Christianity is totally lacking in reason or perspective. With an emphasis on biblical inerrancy there is no room for questioning or deviation (unless it suits personal or political prejudice to deviate). Doesn't it strike you as odd that fundamentalist Christians preach so much about family values, while supporting one of the most amoral and devious politicians to ever assume the office of US President? Classic example of personal and political bias at work.

    Fundamentalists don't set God free to bring hope and joy in the world. Rather, they imprison God within their narrow world-view and manipulate people into blind adherence. They are very much like the Pharisees and teachers of the law who Jesus railed against in Matthew 23. The fact that you are seeing through all of it now is a good sign and there is hope and joy to be found beyond fundamentalism, I promise you.
     
  7. Symphylan

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    Wow, thanks everyone for responding! I left the church as soon as I was able to and didn't feel like I identified with it at all but I guess there are always going to be bits and pieces of the conditioning to get rid of.

    I have always been really interested in science and so never saw any reason why gender and relationship stereotypes MUST be one way, people are so different it doesn't make any sense that everyone has to act the same way. And yet despite that I have been totally oblivious to my own queerness for thirty years. How? How did that happen? I have no idea. I think there is a lot of stuff about myself I have yet to find out.
     
  8. Hamiltan

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    Sorry for taking so long to get to you. Yes, it was very difficult for me to leave because my immediate family was in it. It also was difficult because I felt that I was going to die a horrible death, without any hope if I left the religion. However, I found that researching the religion helped me to shake this fear. I too would suggest that you research you religion and examine why it is that you have the belief system that you have. If this is an issue for you.

    Coming out of the religion, I also realized that I was stunted. I wasn't allowed to make friends outside of the religion and my entire worldview was determined by the religion. I have found though that it is important to be patient with myself and to realize that we are all on different paths. If therapy, group or individual is not an option for you. I would suggest reading about how to socialize. Also to celebrate small winds and not to be too hard on yourself.
     
  9. Mysteria

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    This is me. I've begun to realize that I hardly know how to make friends in other settings. All my life, most of my friends have been from church, or were attending churches of their own. And my worldview was supposed to be completely in line with the worldview of the religion.
     
  10. Hamiltan

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    The good thing is that you can always learn how to socialize with other people and you can also change your worldview to one that suits you. I have Wayne Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones a good book that speaks about becoming a healthy neurosis free adult, despite your past.
     
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  11. Symphylan

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    I will have to check out that book, I haven't read it.

    Personally I have found it a lot more difficult to change deep emotional patterns than to leave the church. I knew I wanted out and I felt some guilt about it but not too much. I am also really emotionally stunted. I am very good at faking and acting the right way so I can interact with others but it doesn't feel authentic to me. That is something I have been working on for a long time. I definitely still have a lot of layers left to get through.
     
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