Hey guys, im 20 years old, male and a bisexual. I have been worried about my future relationship possibilities for some while now. Before i State the exact problem, it is proper to explain my attractions. Basically i have two attractions: Twinks ( generally justfeminine/beautiful guys with little body hair.) Girls/women in a broad sense (girls my age, milfs etc) I definetely prefer twinks over any kind of Girl/woman, it is just much more often i see women im attracted to. The attraction in itself is much stronger regarding twinks, but it is much more often i see women im attracted to. So its kind of a quantity vs quality issue. Anyways my problem has to do with my very narrow/exclusive attraction towards guys. Obviously i am able to form a relationship with a guy im attracted to now as twinks primarily is in my age group. My problem is future relationships... Since i have zero attraction and i mean ZERO to guys aged 27+ ( with extremely rare exceptions) how Will i be able to form a happy relationship when im like 30+ I would obviously be able to form a relationship with a woman that is also aged 30+ since my attraction to women is much broader, but its just not the most optimal. My dream partner is a guy whom im attracted to (obviously) and that is exclusively twinks or just generally androgynous feminine looking guys... sometimes i feel like im not a Real bisexual because my attraction to men is so specific... So my question basically is: How do i go about this? Should i just enjoy my youth with as many twinkish guys as possible and then when im 30+ find a woman and get a family etc? I honestly see no other option Thanks!
Hi ihmawtd1234, You may find as you age that your attraction to older guys opens up. Or you may find a woman who’ll knock your socks off. Yes, enjoy your youth, and enjoy growing into yourself.
I would use your 20s and experiment with as many men as you can, stay single and figure out what you like before you commit to a woman. I was married at 19 and then found out in my mid 20s I was also attracted to guys so it was a living hell yo figure all this out.
I agree with Adam, ^ use your 20s to experiment and to learn yourself , When you rush to keep up with everyone else that’s when you live in regret . Don’t lock up until 35 hahaha gree
I wouldn't worry about the whole not attracted to guys over 26. Frankly I think when I was your age my cutoff was about 25. And you know what happened as I got older? The range moved with me. And frankly, now that I'm 47 the idea of dating someone in their 20s is not at all appealing. For better or for worse my reaction would be "uuhhh, come back when you're a real person." It is what it is. Frankly, the idea of worrying about what you will find attractive 10 years from now just seems like an exercise in futility. But if you insist on thinking you will always experience attraction the way you do know, I would suggest just a slight recast. From what you have said of your experience, I would say that you only find men attractive who are roughly your age. That doesn't sound like a problem to me. In fact, it sounds downright heathy...
Hmmmm. All the comments above have offered you some great advice. You are young and should explore your sexuality. But, I wonder about the title of your thread. I am being a bit of a devils advocate, as a bisexual, here. My first thought is that you might be making an excuse for your same sex attractions? You mention having a broader, but less intense, desire to be with a woman than with the "ideal" male partner? Your attractions are what they are. I wouldn't want to suggest that they aren't real and compelling. But, I would invite you to think about really having a relationship with a man based, not on WHAT he is, but WHO he is. One of the tricks that I used when I was a closeted bisexual in a hetero marriage was to categorize men in a narrow band as my "type". This made it easy to tell myself that my same sex attractions were not as important as my opposite sex attractions since so few men appealed to me. You are young and have an opportunity to explore your sexuality. I would take advantage of that as others here have suggested. But, I would also think a bit about why you put limits on who you are attracted to. Is this because some part of you is not willing to accept that you may still be bargaining with yourself over your sexuality? Just my thoughts. In any case. Have some fun with learning about what it is that you need!
If my math is correct, you have at least 7 years to solve this problem. Don’t worry about it right now, and it will likely resolve itself.
Hey Nickw, thanks for the detailed answer. Im not sure i know exactly what you mean though.... What do you mean by “an excuse for my same sex attractions”? And what do you mean by saying that im barganing about my sexuality? Do you mean im probably more gay and just need to accept it? Or that i need to embrace my bisexuality? Thanks
