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Completely ignoring me

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by GeckoLove, Jun 26, 2019.

  1. GeckoLove

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    So in a couple of other posts of mine, I've mentioned a friend who is more like a sister to me than anything. The only thing is she's a horrible person. I've always been there for her, but she's never been there for me, and she'll constantly ditch me for other people, then turn around and tell me I'm her only friend. We've been "best friends" for around 13 years. I've been slowly introducing the LGBT topic, and she's been fine with it. Then I went over to her house. Her neighbors were there, and I found out they were lesbians. Not only that, but my friends family was going to their wedding. Then me and her went bike riding. Seeing that she was thrilled that her neighbors are getting married, I assumed she'd be totally fine with me. So I worked up my courage throughout the rest of the night and ended up panicking and coming out to her. All she said was okay, and that was that. It's been almost a month now, and she's completely been ignoring me. She's the type of person to assume if if someone she knew came out, they automatically like her. I've been thinking of leaving her for a while now because she is a disgusting person, but we still have that connection from knowing each other for so long. Any ideas on what to do?
     
  2. Really

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    I think at a minimum, you should take some time and space away from her. If you find her disgusting, she can’t be adding all that much value to your friendship and certainly isn’t a positive influence on you happiness. I don’t think you have to “break up” with her, per se, as she seems to have already distanced herself from you.

    Why not turn your attention to people who are more uplifting, whether they’re existing friends or new ones you cultivate? If she comes back to you, tell her honestly how you’ve felt about your friendship and see if she’s up for improving it. If not? Fine. There are other more positive people you can associate with.
     
  3. GeckoLove

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    I think that this is a good idea. She's planning on transferring to my school next year, and I really don't want her my friend group. I'll definitely take some time away from her and just see what happens. If she wants to make the effort to stay friends, and I guess I'll figure out what to do if that time comes. Thank you.
     
  4. FunnyBunny

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    First of all, I love your username. I love geckos too!

    Second of all, I can relate to your post. I had a best friend who I had known almost my entire life, but we got back into contact a few years ago. We were pretty much inseparable, but I had realized that she was too high-maintenance for me and she would never really fully support anything i wanted to do. She would often put me down, and she would make me feel like I was a bad friend. We ended up getting into another fight, and we ended the friendship. I feel much better not having her in my life.
    It can be difficult at first not having someone in your life when they have known you for so long, and when they have been a huge part fo your life. But, you also have to think about your own happiness. If she doesn't really add anything to your life, why are you keeping her around?
    You could try to focus your energy on the positive relationships you do have, and you could make stronger connections with other people that care about you.
     
  5. GeckoLove

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    YES! Geckos rule! I guess the only reason I've been keeping her around is because of my OCD, I tend to push everyone away, but I felt comfortable enough with her to feel safe hanging out with her. But I got over my biggest trigger, School, and I have a couple friends in my grade. We've been hanging out more so I guess I'll just try to strengthen the the friendships. Thank you for the reply :slight_smile:
     
  6. silverhalo

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    Hey it can be scary to ditch the comfort of what we have known for a long period of time but it sounds like she does more harm than good so I agree you should put your efforts into people who will return your efforts.
     
  7. GeckoLove

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    Yeah, I think you're right. Still no response from her. It's going to suck not to have her as my safety net but I should put my time with people who've actually care about me
     
    Drizzle likes this.
  8. silverhalo

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    You will build another safety net and it will be better you just have to stay strong through this bit of unease.
     
  9. GeckoLove

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    I totally agree. Thanks for the help!