1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Tell of a reaction to "something sexual" that puzzled you in your past.

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by brainwashed, Jun 17, 2019.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. brainwashed

    brainwashed
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I will start this off. Maybe someone can "enlighten me" as to why I did what I did. .

    In my late 20s on through to upper 40s people would ask me if I had kids - this was a period of time I had no clue I was gay. Or they'd ask, ~"so how many kids do you have?" Id reply each time with a VERY forceful and to the point, rude at times, ~"no kids."

    To this day I have no idea why I answered this question with so much force. Not a clue. I theorize that since I was captured in a mental state that sex is dirty, I was answering subconsciously that I would never do dirty sexual things with another human that would lead to kids. This is the only possible reason I can think of.

    It must be noted I go crazy over kids. There funny and add energy.
     
    #1 brainwashed, Jun 17, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2019
  2. smee

    smee
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2016
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Southern US
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I think I know that tone of voice. It sounds like how I would shut down the conversation when ex girlfriends would ask if I loved them or if I was having an affair. It was as if I wanted to shut down the discussion NOW, as if these things could ever be in doubt. I am so glad that we have all moved on and are doing better.
     
    #2 smee, Jun 18, 2019
  3. Danabutton

    Danabutton
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2018
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    76
    Location:
    Baltimore
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I’m torn
    I often have struggled with sex is dirty concept as well
    I think this maybe partly due to some dysmorphia on my part as well
    I guess I have gone through life more as a spectator then actually being able to be ‘in the moment’ and it worry about trivial things
     
    #3 Danabutton, Jun 21, 2019
  4. nerdbrain

    nerdbrain
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2014
    Messages:
    536
    Likes Received:
    112
    Location:
    New York City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    My interpretation of your response is that you felt like they were pressuring you to meet their expectations and you were angry and resentful about it. Even straight people get this way when they are bugged about not having kids yet. But in your case perhaps you had deeper subconscious reasons.
     
    #4 nerdbrain, Jun 25, 2019
    Kmermaid00 and Adam1981 like this.
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)