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In limbo - "one woman lesbian"?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Orchidea123, Jun 21, 2019.

  1. Orchidea123

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    Hello, haven't posted here in a while. I'm still married and love a woman.
    I've loved her for several years now..

    Since I met her, my attraction to husband has gone missing, most of the time now. He is still my husband, closest person to me.

    Her and I have grown into friends, although we keep our comfort distance, as there may be something mutual, maybe, maybe not..
    I've had courage to tell her about my attraction to her long time ago, and we've gone through pretty isolated times from one another.

    Anyway, I've gone through variety of thought and feeling stages related to discovering my feelings for her a while back..
    Never felt for another woman before, and probably never so strong for another human being.

    My dilemma is this: I can't entertain idea of myself with any other woman.

    I was thinking, a lot, about doing something in the future about my possibly not straight orientation..
    However, I can't see the idea of exploring/meeting another female attractive. I don't think I'd want to undress anyone but her. And, its not even in sexual way - more emotional and loving way.

    So, I feel being in limbo.. I can't see/imagine another alternative to fulfill my life's desires, besides being with her.

    Am I "a one woman" lesbian lol?
    Do you think there is such a thing?
     
  2. regkmc

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    Could be. It could also be a form of self protection....like if I only like one woman, then I’m not really gay gay.
     
  3. Nickw

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    It may just be that you only have eyes for the one you're with. I was always the way you describe when I was young with girlfriends and throughout my marriage with my wife I would hardly look at other women.

    Now, I have a boyfriend and the idea of being with another man is almost repulsive. I have this thought that I would not ever seek another relationship with a man should this end.
     
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  4. alwaysforever

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    One of the aspects of being deeply in love with someone is that other people just don't get your attention as much. I would say that is normal, and at least for the honeymoon stage where you are both infatuated, attraction to others will take a back seat.
     
  5. Butterfly6

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    I agree with the above posters. When I first started having feelings for my husband he's all I thought about, all the time. I couldn't care less about other men (or women).

    I was also the same when I was in love with my best friend in high school. I just wanted to be around her most of the time. It wasn't much of sexual attraction; more emotional.

    I think your feelings are also in limbo because you are not acting on them. I used to like a guy when I was younger. To me I felt like I was in love, I thought about him a lot and every few months he'd come back in my life. It was always a major rush/high because I never got out of the infatuation stage.

    Infatuation was so strong that I didnt notice my feeling for women. Until I stopped liking him and had some time to think.
     
  6. Nic2552

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    Sexuality is fluid ... you could be only possibly attracted to her only.. have you ever had attraction towards other women ?
     
  7. silverhalo

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    The above posters make some good points.

    For me I never looked at anyone before I was with my girlfriend and imagined undressing them or anything like that. I feel like for me to even think of those kind of things I need to really get to know someone. That doesn't mean I feel like that about everyone I get to know but perhaps you are like that.
     
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  8. MsAnchor

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    This is being in love, you dont see anyone else when your heart is full of a certain person and attraction is saved up just for them. Being gay doesnt mean you'd have a type and be attracted to everyone who check the list within that type, the emotional connection makes them the centre point of you love and attention.
    But is she aware of this? Does she know you feel this way towards her? I m sorry I havent followed your story, maybe it would be a good idea to have a good heart to heart with her no matter what comes out of it because it will help offload what you re carryinf inside you