I really can't stand anymore. My feeling between, I have a true love, my mistake....Really my mistake to love someone very deep, missing him everyday but I don't wanna disturb him because I know he does not care to me. He doesn't have the same feeling. My day Everyday is like a requiem, sadness and hopeless. I have been over a year..... What can I do? Give me suggestions! My missing is like a high mountain. How to kill my feeling to him.
It is really very very painful to be in unrequited love. Unfortunately I am not sure there is any magic formula for falling out of love with someone because who we are in love with is not something we have absolute control over. However, we can take steps to help ourselves. Can you avoid seeing/ contact with this person for the time being? It also helps to direct your energy into other relationships, making the most of platonic friends. Work every day towards building your life around your goals and aspirations. Nourish your body and mind with good food, good company and exercise. Trust that THIS TOO shall pass.
Sundara I want to send you a big hug. I have experienced this feeling recently, and it is so painful. Peterpangirl is right. Avoid them and keep busy. xxxx Have a good cry and phone a friend and spend some time with people that care about you.
Peterpangirl and Jackiescut, Thank you for your suggestions. I tried many times again and again. I tried focus on myself and my family. Sometimes I look for someone but it cannot cure my pain. He always in my eyes. I am tired.
Might I suggest a ritual in which you burn all the photos and anything he has given you? If you don't want to go that extreme, write a goodbye letter to him and burn it. These are ritualized ways to mourn the "death" of your feelings for him. It can be very cathartic. Of course, you need to decide to love and take care of yourself too. In addition to Peterpangirl's and JackieScut's suggestions, do something very special for yourself. Take a luxurious bath. Get a massage. Buy something new for yourself--a new shirt or a complete new outfit. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I love you very much." Most of all, you need to promise that you will stop hurting yourself over a person who cannot meet your needs. Remember, you deserve to be loved. You have to start with yourself.
With my unrequited love experiences, I think I was in love with my idea of the person, not the actual person. I could picture myself having a loving relationship with the person and making them happy. And they obviously didn't share my vision of being in a relationship together. What's more painful is that they never gave me a chance to try and make a connection with them. So there will always be that question of "why couldn't they just try and get to know me?" I've tried to change myself to fit into other people's image of how they wanted me to be, and it didn't work out, but at least I tried. Why couldn't this person take a chance on me? And no matter how many times people tell me I'm a nice guy and I deserve to be happy, it doesn't give me any comfort, because I couldn't be with the person that I wanted to be with. I didn't "deserve" to be with that person. I'm supposed to tell myself "it's their loss" and "I can do better". But that doesn't give me much comfort either, because I'm supposed to believe they're going to end up either being lonely or in a relationship with some idiot, when they could have had me. So I've been rejected for something that's worse than being my partner. So it is very difficult to let go of the idea of being in love with someone. Whatever way we look it it, they were not interested in what we had to offer.
Im really sorry you're going through this, unrequited love is very heavy on the soul and can take time however believe me it does pass one day depending on you you conduct yourself from then on. Being hung up on someone at times seems like its out of your hands and theres nothing withing your control to get over it however after a while when you take it from another perspective, and that usually takes some drastic change of behaviour like becoming more active in another section of your life like sports or travel or health or education... mainly something that builds you up as a person and not a meaningless course of life. I wish you well, it took me climbing mountains as a sport to retain myself as a full fledged functioning person
