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The realization that you wasted so much time chasing someone and feel like an idiot...

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by mattm001, Jun 18, 2019.

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  1. mattm001

    mattm001
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    Who’s been there before?

    All this time wasted trying to chase him (in my case an acquaintance, and he’s not straight). He knows you’re into him and let’s you down easy, but you think the problem is all about you. You try hard to impress him, make yourself more physically fit to see if he will be more attracted to you, but he doesn’t care. You think eventually he will come around and try to develop the friendship first, but no, it’s apparent that’s not what he wants. He’ll respond to your messages, but he’ll never take the initiative.

    I’ve been wrapped around his finger for too long and it’s time to unwrap myself. He has been muted on all social media. I made his insta account unfollow me so he won’t like my posts anymore, which has been a terrible trigger because I want to be more than a simple “insta like” to him. It’s painful, but I know I’ll get through it. I need to stop looking into every little thing and say to myself that I can do so much better than him. Fuck love sometimes.
     
    #1 mattm001, Jun 18, 2019
  2. D Artagnan

    D Artagnan
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    I did something similar for three years with someone. Mine always gave me very mixed signals though. I finally walked away about a year ago. I had to block them on anything online and then use every ounce of my willpower not give in and reply to them. It got to the point that they were messaging my friends. It's been about six months since they tried to contact me and a year since I gave any kind of reply. I've been lucky that I haven't run into them...it's definitely a fear of mine and hope that it doesn't happen.

    It takes a lot to walk away from someone you really love and care about. But it can be done....despite how difficult it can be. Best of luck.
     
    #2 D Artagnan, Jun 18, 2019
  3. mattm001

    mattm001
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    So you got rejected and then eventually abruptly stopped talking to him because you know he’ll never be into you? Did you guys ever try to work it out with where you stand?
     
    #3 mattm001, Jun 18, 2019
  4. CL1990

    CL1990
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    im in the same place.. i have this hot and cold thing with this girl that lives in a different city but im im go be honest its hard ..obviously when i ignore her she comes to me and when i pursue she fleas ...but at the same time i care a lot about her so its its really hard for me to just cut it all...

    its funny how someone that a year ago i didnt didn can occupy so much time in my mind!!
     
    #4 CL1990, Jun 19, 2019
  5. Devil Dave

    Devil Dave
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    Oh yes, I've been there. But at least the one you liked was actually responsive, and gave you "likes". The guy I liked didn't even follow my instagram, yet he followed people who didn't even make any posts. That's pretty damn fucked up in my opinion. Am I so unpleasant, that a guy I admired would rather follow a blank profile than have a glimpse of the images that I share? I consider myself to be a caring and creative person. I use social media to show pictures of what's going on in my little part of the world, whether it's gigs I've attended, walks I've taken through the forest, trips to the beach, and paintings that I've worked on. None of these are of any interest to him. I thought the guy had some depth to him, but he's not interested in what I've got to offer, and he sure as hell doesn't have anything to offer me, the cunt.
     
    #5 Devil Dave, Jun 24, 2019
  6. wardrobeescaper

    wardrobeescaper
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    Been there, done that. It's not easy but you get there in the end
     
    #6 wardrobeescaper, Jul 10, 2019
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