Soooooooo.. I've decided to swallow my fears and try a gay bar that's near my house when I get my car fixed soon. I'm 28 years old and a total late bloomer. For my whole life, I've sought comfort in following a script inside my head when it came to the heterosexual world of dating and courting, as well as flirting. I've had my practice down to pat when it came to men and letting them lead the dance, and when to do what or what's the next step to take. Now that I'm recognizing my lesbian orientation, this script will no longer do. I don't know how to talk to women in a serious and flirtatious manner. I've tried endless dating apps, some that are specialized in lesbian hook ups, but ended up getting ghosted a lot, sometimes literally within the day before the agreed coffee date. I think it's better I just meet people in person so that they can actually see me in the flesh and can take me more seriously. So, without much LGBT resources in my area (Rural suburbian Pennsylvania reppin'), I've decided that I will try a gay bar. Could love be found in such a place, though? Especially for a baby lesbian who will probably look out of place due to her social awkwardness and (gay) sexual inexperience? Are there social protocols I should follow in a gay bar? How do I signal to another woman that I find her attractive without looking stupid? What are your experiences in going to a gay bar later in life?
I've found it easier to find a wing person when I arrive. Find someone else who is alone and just say hi and ask them who they are here with. You can also be slightly self depreciating and be like hi! I'm here alone. It's my first time here and don't know what to do. Try to find someone who looks friendly though and don't give up if the first person isn't receptive. Once you have a wing person then it will be easier to approach other people who are already in groups. Just my experience though.
Good thing is your still young , now picking up another women at a bar .. I would think it would be easier than online.. because people at bars are looking to have fun and socialize...I would go with a friend as a wing man and dance and just introduce yourself to people ..
I haven't told people at work yet about my orientation, though I do wear a lesbian pride flag pin on my hat just so they can at least see it. I think one other woman I see coming in sometimes is a lesbian but I'm not too sure. She and I don't know each other and I don't want to be rude or make her think I'm using her somehow just to get a score at a bar, lol. I could try going alone if worst comes to worst. Would that be bad?
I'm a fan! I've always enjoyed a good gay bar and to be honest I was a little surprised because I've never been much of a drinker and whenever I was dragged along to straight bars I never enjoyed myself. I made friends the very first time I went to a gay bar that I still have twenty-five years later. I was actually with one of them (five years later) in that same bar when I met my husband. Go! Tell people you're new! Have fun!
No it wouldn’t be bad to go alone .. You will find more friends that way ..who would then introduce you to their friends and most likely they will have a single lesbian friend.
Why do you have that profile picture. Its the same that was in my home as a child. Are you stalking me?
I think you can find love in a gay bar, cuz i found someone in a Straight bar recently! Not exactly found, but got a crush on. I went to a country western bar out here in the country with a straight friend who does not know i like women. I saw a butch there i am crazy about. Trying to make this short here. She was dancing all alone on the floor. I mean other people were dancing but not with HER. I sat at the bar sipping my drink and watching her dance. The more i watched the more mesmerized i became. I couldn't stand it any longer. I jumped up and went to dance with her. She saw me and she danced with me. She even took my arm 3x and twirled me around. I tell ya, she had me on the first twirl! After the band was done with the song i turned to go back to my seat. She reached out her hand and i automatically reached out and took hers for a second or two - IN A STRAIGHT BAR! Afterwards i gave her my phone number, but she hasn't called yet. I am going back to find her. So to make a long story short if i can find my Butch in a straight bar then YES you can find love in a gay bar!!
I was lucky enough when I first came out to make some good friends in a gay bar. Sure, I found some casual sex along the way but the friendships are my biggest benefit from checking out that scene.
